Friday, April 30, 2004
Does God talk to us at all?
This is a question I often ask myself. In a recent episode of Paul's Ponderings (see link at the right), Paul discussed how God can speak to us through uncommon methods (like magazine articles, movies, songs, and so on). My initial thought was that my friend, who I admire and respect, had lost his rational mind.
Surely you are reading far too much into the inspirational moments in life to see God speaking everywhere your heart is lifted? What about those times when coincidence sends you signals contrary to what you think God would be telling you? Do you chalk this up to the devil? Or misunderstanding God? Can inspiration ever just be inspiration? Does it need to have God as its author?
I too have found life changing inspiration in odd places. I cry and find myself challenged when I watch certain movies. I found the drive to pursue Pharmacy school in both a song and a book that I happened to come across in the same month. I can boil my life down to one word thanks to a song I hold almost sacred. Lately, there is a new song that is helping face a very tough dilemma in my own heart.
Yet, I never once assumed God led these items into my life... there are so many other songs, books, and movies that I hear, read, and watch that have no effect at all. Logic only tells us that something is bound to inspire and strike a chord with us when given enough input. This is further confirmed when I see other coincidences... like hearing a song on the radio, just after talking about it. Or watching a movie that echoes your own life situation, and to have it seemingly encourage you to make a choice (maybe improper, maybe proper).
I have been thinking about this whole topic hard, and while I still have a lot to consider and read, I did come across a helpful "answer" in a very unlikely place. Ironic huh? It was in the last chapter of the book The Exorcist (which is utter garbage in my opinion), which I had to read for for class.
The story of The Exorcist spins around a Jesuit priest who is losing his faith. A young girl is possessed by a demon, and he tries to rationally explain everything away as physical and psychological... but he ultimately recognizes it as a spiritual attack, and deals with it in a Holy and faithful way. This priest is teamed up with an old priest (Merrin) who has been around that same block of doubt. He gives the young priest (Karras) a great bit of advice.
This is a long excerpt from the book, so I will not comment any further after it. I do want to say that I think (and I am sure that Paul does too) that we do have to guard against seeing God everywhere. I don;t want to let go of my life, only to assume it is being tossed around by supernatural forces. I don't want to force the hand of God on every occurrence of my life. To do so would definitely make me question concepts free will and pre-determinism, and I would be in a deeper spiritual slump than I already am.
But if there is a God, and He is as the Bible advertises, then maybe there is something to the orchestration of the rational to achieve the supernatural. It is definitely possible that a being with unlimited powers could do such a thing as place a song on the radio to get your attention. I just don't think its always plausible to believe so. Anyway, I hope you are stimulated by this excerpt.
The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty
"For I think belief in God is not a matter of reason at all; I think it finally is a matter of love; of accepting the possibility that God could love us ... the demon knows where to strike... Long ago I despaired of ever loving my neighbor. Certain people repelled me. How could I love them? I thought. It tormented me... it led me to despair of myself, and from that, very soon, to despair of my God. My faith was shattered...
"...at last I realized that God would never ask of me that which I know to be psychologically impossible; that the love which He asked was in my will and not meant to be felt as emotion at all. Not at all. He was asking that I act with love; that I do unto others; and that I should do it unto those who repelled me, I believe, was a greater act of love than any other.
"I know that all of this must seem very obvious... I know. But at the time I could not see it. Strange blindness. How many husbands and wives must believe they have fallen out of love because their hearts no longer race at the sight of their beloveds... There it lies! Not in wars, as some tend to believe; and very seldom in extraordinary interventions such as (possession). No, I see it most often in the little things... in the senseless, petty spites; the misunderstandings; the cruel and cutting word that leaps unbidden from the tongue between friends. Between lovers. Enough of these, and we have no need of Satan to manage our wars; these we manage for ourselves."
See you next time!
Surely you are reading far too much into the inspirational moments in life to see God speaking everywhere your heart is lifted? What about those times when coincidence sends you signals contrary to what you think God would be telling you? Do you chalk this up to the devil? Or misunderstanding God? Can inspiration ever just be inspiration? Does it need to have God as its author?
I too have found life changing inspiration in odd places. I cry and find myself challenged when I watch certain movies. I found the drive to pursue Pharmacy school in both a song and a book that I happened to come across in the same month. I can boil my life down to one word thanks to a song I hold almost sacred. Lately, there is a new song that is helping face a very tough dilemma in my own heart.
Yet, I never once assumed God led these items into my life... there are so many other songs, books, and movies that I hear, read, and watch that have no effect at all. Logic only tells us that something is bound to inspire and strike a chord with us when given enough input. This is further confirmed when I see other coincidences... like hearing a song on the radio, just after talking about it. Or watching a movie that echoes your own life situation, and to have it seemingly encourage you to make a choice (maybe improper, maybe proper).
I have been thinking about this whole topic hard, and while I still have a lot to consider and read, I did come across a helpful "answer" in a very unlikely place. Ironic huh? It was in the last chapter of the book The Exorcist (which is utter garbage in my opinion), which I had to read for for class.
The story of The Exorcist spins around a Jesuit priest who is losing his faith. A young girl is possessed by a demon, and he tries to rationally explain everything away as physical and psychological... but he ultimately recognizes it as a spiritual attack, and deals with it in a Holy and faithful way. This priest is teamed up with an old priest (Merrin) who has been around that same block of doubt. He gives the young priest (Karras) a great bit of advice.
This is a long excerpt from the book, so I will not comment any further after it. I do want to say that I think (and I am sure that Paul does too) that we do have to guard against seeing God everywhere. I don;t want to let go of my life, only to assume it is being tossed around by supernatural forces. I don't want to force the hand of God on every occurrence of my life. To do so would definitely make me question concepts free will and pre-determinism, and I would be in a deeper spiritual slump than I already am.
But if there is a God, and He is as the Bible advertises, then maybe there is something to the orchestration of the rational to achieve the supernatural. It is definitely possible that a being with unlimited powers could do such a thing as place a song on the radio to get your attention. I just don't think its always plausible to believe so. Anyway, I hope you are stimulated by this excerpt.
The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty
"For I think belief in God is not a matter of reason at all; I think it finally is a matter of love; of accepting the possibility that God could love us ... the demon knows where to strike... Long ago I despaired of ever loving my neighbor. Certain people repelled me. How could I love them? I thought. It tormented me... it led me to despair of myself, and from that, very soon, to despair of my God. My faith was shattered...
"...at last I realized that God would never ask of me that which I know to be psychologically impossible; that the love which He asked was in my will and not meant to be felt as emotion at all. Not at all. He was asking that I act with love; that I do unto others; and that I should do it unto those who repelled me, I believe, was a greater act of love than any other.
"I know that all of this must seem very obvious... I know. But at the time I could not see it. Strange blindness. How many husbands and wives must believe they have fallen out of love because their hearts no longer race at the sight of their beloveds... There it lies! Not in wars, as some tend to believe; and very seldom in extraordinary interventions such as (possession). No, I see it most often in the little things... in the senseless, petty spites; the misunderstandings; the cruel and cutting word that leaps unbidden from the tongue between friends. Between lovers. Enough of these, and we have no need of Satan to manage our wars; these we manage for ourselves."
See you next time!
Thursday, April 29, 2004
kekko desu.
I just realized that I have failed to treat my blog like a true diary. Some of you who visit may be hoping to actually hear how my life is going. So today I will try to just report on what is going on, rather than write an essay. :)
The weather has been really pleasant here in Iowa. I love spring so much! While I was in Colorado last weekend the weather was perfect. I am not too excited for summer's humid days to come.
I still have not received any word from pharmacy school. Creighton University is in the middle of the second review. They look at the alternate candidates and fill in empty seats. Then they decide if they value your application high enough to let you remain on the alternate list. Every summer, many accepted candidates choose not to attend Creighton University (it happens at all universities), so if I can get on the list, my chances are pretty good that I will still be accepted. Still, I am very nervous, and losing a lot of sleep over it... so keep me in mind.
Everyone in my family is healthy, but they are having a bit of a bad year. My father was laid off from his job (he is an elevator mechanic), but he is okay financially for a while. His only concern is that he is in his 50's, and close to retirement. He needs to finish out strong. Work will be available again, it's just a matter of time. Similarly, my sister is having a tough month. She is getting a divorce, and it is an emotionally trying time. Her son (my nephew Logan) is six years old, and we worry about him. He is very tender-hearted and we are unsure how he will cope with this.
As for my mother and brother, they are fine. My brother is still up to his rock-and-roll lifestyle, and trying to find acceptance into University of Nebraska at Omaha. His current goal is to become a respiratory therapist. My mother is doing well, but she worries about everyone too much. She is still keeping busy with sewing, making quilts, and cooking (as well as playing computer games at pogo.com). She is also looking for a new job.
The school semester ends in two weeks! This next week will be a test for my diligence, as I have tests to prepare for, final projects to prepare and hand-in, and also some other odds and ends to clean up. I am anxious for this semester to be over, but I am unsure what this summer has in store for me. I either want to find a second job, so I can take care of some debt before pharmacy school starts, or I want to volunteer somewhere.
I have been studying Japanese, and can read a little better. I bought a graded reader, so my skills of kanji recognition have increased quite a bit. My spoken Japanese is about as poor as always, since I rarely get a chance to speak it. When I do get a chance, I am very uncomfortable with it, and shy. But as soon as I get more lessons of the Pimsleur series downloaded, I will continue learning, and talking to myself in the car! :)
I have been practicing my cooking skills lately, as I am preparing to learn some new Japanese recipes. I need to go to the Japanese grocery store in Omaha soon to get supplies. My goal is to prepare San-Shoku Bento for my special friends Yuri next week. She has been a great friend at Iowa Western, and I may not get to see her again after this semester ends. I also want to make Azuki Bean Soup with Mochi for my friends Sara and Phuong next week, in appreciation of their friendship (and to work on my cooking skills).
Soon I will be able to choose what I want to read rather than compulsory assigned reading! I have many books to catch up on. Lately all I have been reading is my school work, and manga. The latest manga I have been addicted to is Pita-Ten. It is about a hyperactive angel that moves in next door to a young man. She tries to do good, and make his life better, but she hasn't quite got the hang of life on Earth yet. It is a great story, and is very funny. And, as always, I am hopelessly addicted to reading Rurouni Kenshin. I am a sucker for period dramas, especially when it comes to samurai.
My current favorite DVDs are Yukikaze Volume One. It is an amazing anime about elite jet pilots using mysterious technology. It is sort of like Top Gun meets Stargate. I also have watched Ju-On:The Grudge a few more times in the last month, it is such a great horror movie! The best DVD in my collection right now is the new Kids in the Hall Season One set. What a great show that was! It makes me remember both high school and college.
Music wise, I am still listening to the same old stuff. Mostly I listen to Radiohead, Pixies, and Talking Heads. My favorite songs this semester have been The Delgados "Light Before We Land", David Bowie "Moonage Daydream", Scaterd Few "Rise Up", The Flaming Lips "Do You Realize?", and Radiohead "Packt Like Sardines in a Crushed Tin Box."
"After years of waiting
nothing came
And you realize
you're looking in the wrong place"
(Radiohead - Packt like Sardines...)
Well, that's about as basic of a diary entry as it gets. I didn't mention my views on the war in Iraq, Christianity, my current confusing relationships, the special people who made my last month the best one in years, or thoughts about the nature of the universe... that will all come soon enough (oh loyal readers).
Have a great day, thanks for visiting, and I hope to keep blogging away at least twice a week. Thanks for being a part of my life. And once again, congrats to Rich and Layla, I hope they are enjoying their week long honeymoon in Las Vegas.
Jaa mata!
The weather has been really pleasant here in Iowa. I love spring so much! While I was in Colorado last weekend the weather was perfect. I am not too excited for summer's humid days to come.
I still have not received any word from pharmacy school. Creighton University is in the middle of the second review. They look at the alternate candidates and fill in empty seats. Then they decide if they value your application high enough to let you remain on the alternate list. Every summer, many accepted candidates choose not to attend Creighton University (it happens at all universities), so if I can get on the list, my chances are pretty good that I will still be accepted. Still, I am very nervous, and losing a lot of sleep over it... so keep me in mind.
Everyone in my family is healthy, but they are having a bit of a bad year. My father was laid off from his job (he is an elevator mechanic), but he is okay financially for a while. His only concern is that he is in his 50's, and close to retirement. He needs to finish out strong. Work will be available again, it's just a matter of time. Similarly, my sister is having a tough month. She is getting a divorce, and it is an emotionally trying time. Her son (my nephew Logan) is six years old, and we worry about him. He is very tender-hearted and we are unsure how he will cope with this.
As for my mother and brother, they are fine. My brother is still up to his rock-and-roll lifestyle, and trying to find acceptance into University of Nebraska at Omaha. His current goal is to become a respiratory therapist. My mother is doing well, but she worries about everyone too much. She is still keeping busy with sewing, making quilts, and cooking (as well as playing computer games at pogo.com). She is also looking for a new job.
The school semester ends in two weeks! This next week will be a test for my diligence, as I have tests to prepare for, final projects to prepare and hand-in, and also some other odds and ends to clean up. I am anxious for this semester to be over, but I am unsure what this summer has in store for me. I either want to find a second job, so I can take care of some debt before pharmacy school starts, or I want to volunteer somewhere.
I have been studying Japanese, and can read a little better. I bought a graded reader, so my skills of kanji recognition have increased quite a bit. My spoken Japanese is about as poor as always, since I rarely get a chance to speak it. When I do get a chance, I am very uncomfortable with it, and shy. But as soon as I get more lessons of the Pimsleur series downloaded, I will continue learning, and talking to myself in the car! :)
I have been practicing my cooking skills lately, as I am preparing to learn some new Japanese recipes. I need to go to the Japanese grocery store in Omaha soon to get supplies. My goal is to prepare San-Shoku Bento for my special friends Yuri next week. She has been a great friend at Iowa Western, and I may not get to see her again after this semester ends. I also want to make Azuki Bean Soup with Mochi for my friends Sara and Phuong next week, in appreciation of their friendship (and to work on my cooking skills).
Soon I will be able to choose what I want to read rather than compulsory assigned reading! I have many books to catch up on. Lately all I have been reading is my school work, and manga. The latest manga I have been addicted to is Pita-Ten. It is about a hyperactive angel that moves in next door to a young man. She tries to do good, and make his life better, but she hasn't quite got the hang of life on Earth yet. It is a great story, and is very funny. And, as always, I am hopelessly addicted to reading Rurouni Kenshin. I am a sucker for period dramas, especially when it comes to samurai.
My current favorite DVDs are Yukikaze Volume One. It is an amazing anime about elite jet pilots using mysterious technology. It is sort of like Top Gun meets Stargate. I also have watched Ju-On:The Grudge a few more times in the last month, it is such a great horror movie! The best DVD in my collection right now is the new Kids in the Hall Season One set. What a great show that was! It makes me remember both high school and college.
Music wise, I am still listening to the same old stuff. Mostly I listen to Radiohead, Pixies, and Talking Heads. My favorite songs this semester have been The Delgados "Light Before We Land", David Bowie "Moonage Daydream", Scaterd Few "Rise Up", The Flaming Lips "Do You Realize?", and Radiohead "Packt Like Sardines in a Crushed Tin Box."
"After years of waiting
nothing came
And you realize
you're looking in the wrong place"
(Radiohead - Packt like Sardines...)
Well, that's about as basic of a diary entry as it gets. I didn't mention my views on the war in Iraq, Christianity, my current confusing relationships, the special people who made my last month the best one in years, or thoughts about the nature of the universe... that will all come soon enough (oh loyal readers).
Have a great day, thanks for visiting, and I hope to keep blogging away at least twice a week. Thanks for being a part of my life. And once again, congrats to Rich and Layla, I hope they are enjoying their week long honeymoon in Las Vegas.
Jaa mata!
Monday, April 26, 2004
Temptation
Hello folks! First of all, I heard that Japan is giving supplies and aid to North Korea to deal with the horrible train accident. Good job, Japan. I realize that Japan and the Koreas have differences, and North Korea especially is at odds politically with much of the world. It was very honorable and morally responsible to offer aid in such a time. Thank you Japan for setting a good example.
I am back from Colorado, and I will be emailing my foreign friends soon about what Colorado is like, and what an American wedding is like. Rich and Layla had a fantastic wedding, and they are going to be a great couple. I am so happy for my friend Rich!
Every time I am in Colorado, I am tempted to stay there. I miss living there very much.
Speaking of temptation, what tempts you? We all have weak points. Some of us are blind to our weaknesses and that can lead to being blindsided by trouble. Others of us know our weaknesses, and are locked in eternal battle with them.
Some of my silliest temptations come from food. The foods I love are completely bad for me. I find myself sometimes driving out of my way to stop at a gas station to buy a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie. That is NOT good! It is pure junk food. Other temptations include caffeine, buying more books than I can read at the time, and spending too much time playing video games. I do have some serious temptations, but I will get to those below.
Sometimes it is nice to know others battle similar temptations. It helps you feel like you are not so alone. It also may shed some light on how to face temptation. So I thought I would share a few, and maybe it will help someone. Also, it will help you get to know Carl a little more.
1. Rum: I like wine a great deal, and on rare occasions I crave a beer, but the one alcohol that I absolutely love is rum. I love it in cola, in daiquiris, or even straight! I like it so much that I cannot usually stop with just a small drink. I instead overindulge. How do I deal with this temptation to get unhealthily drunk on rum? I stay away from it. I try to never keep any in the house, and I do not order it in restaurants.
2. Overspending: I hate shopping, so it may be a big surprise that one of my worst features is my temptation to impulse buy, and overspend. I often buy things I don't need at times I can't afford them. This has led to some tough financial problems. I haven't beat this problem yet. My best way to deal with it; find someone to be accountable to. If I tell someone that I have this problem, and that I am light on funds... I hope that they keep me from spending when we're together. Accountability is a great way to deal with problems of temptation. It is always harder to falter when you know someone is watching you.
3. My heart: I don't know when it happened, but I have lost a lot of control over my emotions. I have told a few people (and been told by a few people) that I am not the same person I was less than 10 years ago. It's not that I lose control of anger so much, but its more the other side of emotions ("like", love, and friendship). I tend to get very attached and sometimes find a lot of confusion in how I relate to others. It is hard to talk about, and even harder to deal with, so I tend to shy away from getting close to people (thus this blog instead of meaningful conversations). But then once I do get to know someone, its like a magnetic force draws me in. I start caring about my friends almost too much, and I am sure that it sends the wrong signal. I am not sure what to do about my heart, other than stay away from developing relationships altogether. And for the most part, that is what I do. As I have said before, I have so few friends, but the ones I have mean the world to me. If you are reading this, you are probably one of the few people out there that I have been able to make a friendship with. You are keeping me sane! Thank you!
4.My mouth: Like my heart, my mouth has become uncontrollable. I talk far too honestly in public (and maybe even in private). I say things without thinking. I joke about things I shouldn't. I talk about people, and I tease people without considering if I am hurting their feelings. I'd like to think I am doing a lot better at this than in the past, but I know it is a part of me. How do I deal with it? Try not to talk. :) Either that, or people will start to avoid me, and that sort of fixes the problem itself (in a bad way). My biggest problem is who I am, and who my mouth advertises are two very different people. It's a character flaw that not only can make me an unappealing friend/employee, but also ruins the chance of others getting to know the real me. One thing that has helped me a lot is studying the Japanese language. Within the language is a sort of code based on politeness, holding self expression to a minimum*, and awareness of social stratification. These things have helped me rethink how to relate to people around me. Thanks again Japan! (Does Japan ever stop being a beautiful country?)
So there you go. A few of my acknowledged temptations. I hope it encourages others in their battles. I am sure there are more. Maybe some of you would like to point out my flaws for me? (I hope not!)
When it comes to temptation, we all struggle. In the Gospels, we even see Jesus dealing with temptation. An important thing to remember is not to let yourself feel isolated or "evil" because you are tempted. Being tempted is normal, and I think depending on the state of your heart, unavoidable. It is giving in to temptation that leads to "sin." Giving in is the easy, probably natural way to act. But problems come when we bow to thermodynamics, and let our characters fall into ruin for the sake of "ease." The path of least resistance leads to entropy, but putting an effort into fighting our temptations makes us enlightened and moral people.
So I encourage all of you to acknowledge weaknesses and fight temptations. Good bye for today!
* about self expression. In my anthropological studies, I have noticed that people of other nations often view the USA as a people obsessed with self expression. I will try to tackle this topic at a later time, because I think it is very interesting; our yearning for self expression has given us a definite identity as a nation, led us to achieve great things, and at times even hurt us (or others).
I am back from Colorado, and I will be emailing my foreign friends soon about what Colorado is like, and what an American wedding is like. Rich and Layla had a fantastic wedding, and they are going to be a great couple. I am so happy for my friend Rich!
Every time I am in Colorado, I am tempted to stay there. I miss living there very much.
Speaking of temptation, what tempts you? We all have weak points. Some of us are blind to our weaknesses and that can lead to being blindsided by trouble. Others of us know our weaknesses, and are locked in eternal battle with them.
Some of my silliest temptations come from food. The foods I love are completely bad for me. I find myself sometimes driving out of my way to stop at a gas station to buy a Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pie. That is NOT good! It is pure junk food. Other temptations include caffeine, buying more books than I can read at the time, and spending too much time playing video games. I do have some serious temptations, but I will get to those below.
Sometimes it is nice to know others battle similar temptations. It helps you feel like you are not so alone. It also may shed some light on how to face temptation. So I thought I would share a few, and maybe it will help someone. Also, it will help you get to know Carl a little more.
1. Rum: I like wine a great deal, and on rare occasions I crave a beer, but the one alcohol that I absolutely love is rum. I love it in cola, in daiquiris, or even straight! I like it so much that I cannot usually stop with just a small drink. I instead overindulge. How do I deal with this temptation to get unhealthily drunk on rum? I stay away from it. I try to never keep any in the house, and I do not order it in restaurants.
2. Overspending: I hate shopping, so it may be a big surprise that one of my worst features is my temptation to impulse buy, and overspend. I often buy things I don't need at times I can't afford them. This has led to some tough financial problems. I haven't beat this problem yet. My best way to deal with it; find someone to be accountable to. If I tell someone that I have this problem, and that I am light on funds... I hope that they keep me from spending when we're together. Accountability is a great way to deal with problems of temptation. It is always harder to falter when you know someone is watching you.
3. My heart: I don't know when it happened, but I have lost a lot of control over my emotions. I have told a few people (and been told by a few people) that I am not the same person I was less than 10 years ago. It's not that I lose control of anger so much, but its more the other side of emotions ("like", love, and friendship). I tend to get very attached and sometimes find a lot of confusion in how I relate to others. It is hard to talk about, and even harder to deal with, so I tend to shy away from getting close to people (thus this blog instead of meaningful conversations). But then once I do get to know someone, its like a magnetic force draws me in. I start caring about my friends almost too much, and I am sure that it sends the wrong signal. I am not sure what to do about my heart, other than stay away from developing relationships altogether. And for the most part, that is what I do. As I have said before, I have so few friends, but the ones I have mean the world to me. If you are reading this, you are probably one of the few people out there that I have been able to make a friendship with. You are keeping me sane! Thank you!
4.My mouth: Like my heart, my mouth has become uncontrollable. I talk far too honestly in public (and maybe even in private). I say things without thinking. I joke about things I shouldn't. I talk about people, and I tease people without considering if I am hurting their feelings. I'd like to think I am doing a lot better at this than in the past, but I know it is a part of me. How do I deal with it? Try not to talk. :) Either that, or people will start to avoid me, and that sort of fixes the problem itself (in a bad way). My biggest problem is who I am, and who my mouth advertises are two very different people. It's a character flaw that not only can make me an unappealing friend/employee, but also ruins the chance of others getting to know the real me. One thing that has helped me a lot is studying the Japanese language. Within the language is a sort of code based on politeness, holding self expression to a minimum*, and awareness of social stratification. These things have helped me rethink how to relate to people around me. Thanks again Japan! (Does Japan ever stop being a beautiful country?)
So there you go. A few of my acknowledged temptations. I hope it encourages others in their battles. I am sure there are more. Maybe some of you would like to point out my flaws for me? (I hope not!)
When it comes to temptation, we all struggle. In the Gospels, we even see Jesus dealing with temptation. An important thing to remember is not to let yourself feel isolated or "evil" because you are tempted. Being tempted is normal, and I think depending on the state of your heart, unavoidable. It is giving in to temptation that leads to "sin." Giving in is the easy, probably natural way to act. But problems come when we bow to thermodynamics, and let our characters fall into ruin for the sake of "ease." The path of least resistance leads to entropy, but putting an effort into fighting our temptations makes us enlightened and moral people.
So I encourage all of you to acknowledge weaknesses and fight temptations. Good bye for today!
* about self expression. In my anthropological studies, I have noticed that people of other nations often view the USA as a people obsessed with self expression. I will try to tackle this topic at a later time, because I think it is very interesting; our yearning for self expression has given us a definite identity as a nation, led us to achieve great things, and at times even hurt us (or others).
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
The Rainbow Connection
It wasn't too long ago (20 years or so) that Kermit the Frog (beloved American Muppet) sang the song "The Rainbow Connection." The first few lines go as such:
"Why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side?"
The rainbow has been the recipient of wonder for many ages. Poets, lovers, children, and song writers all love the rainbow and its vivid imagery. It signifies hope during rainy days, is one of the first things a child learns to draw with crayons, represents unity between diverse members of a whole unit (whether sexuality or race) , and even caused Woodsworth to write "My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky..."
In Judaism and Christianity, this wonder is even taken a step further. It is seen as a sign from God, given to man (actually, to Noah) as a symbol of His promise never to flood the world again. So were there rainbows before this? It depends on your belief in the pre-deluge canopy... I digress.
The point I want to make is that a rainbow seems magical. It is a stripe of unnatural coloring in the sky in an unnatural shape (the arch). It occurs just rarely enough that a rainbow never fails to attract fawning viewers. It lasts such a short time, that we often feel as if we have been a part of a shared daydream.
But the rainbow is not magical. It is scientific. The rainbow is an expression of some basic aspects of physics (but also an expression of difficult mathematics). White light is a collection of all wavelengths of visible light. Each color is made up of the same "light", but possesses a unique wavelength.
If the sun is positioned just so and the viewer is also positioned properly, we perceive a rainbow when...
"A beam of sunlight plunges into the heart of a raindrop. As the beam pierces the outside of the drop, it bends... Acting like a prism, the raindrop refracts each color... a little more or little less than the next... Inside the raindrop, the colored rays collide with the inside wall. This wall acts like a mirror, and bounces rays off of it. Now, bent still more, they shoot back out of the raindrop through the same side they entered." (Wollard, Kathy 'How Come?')
The science is deeper, but you get the point. But does knowing this ruin a rainbow? Absolutely not. I even find that the numbers and physics add to the appeal. A rainbow is still a rainbow, whether it is painted by the hand of a god, or the result of equations and collisions.
There are a lot of things in life that we cherish, and do not want spoilt. We attribute so much of our life to the Unknown. We trust in "women's intuition," religion, and wives' tales. But do we spend any time searching for rational explanations?
Some people don't want to. A family member of mine once told me that he refused to watch the supplemental material on DVD's because it would ruin the movie for him. He doesn't want to know how it was done, he wants to revel in the magic. It is fun to write songs about rainbows, and what is on the other side. There is a huge upside to sharing the viewing of a rainbow with a special someone, and pontificating about the magical nature of it (magic talk can lead to kisses!). Its fun to imagine yourself chasing leprechauns and fairies over a rainbow to a pot of gold. It is reassuring to think that God lights up the sky once and awhile to reassure us that he isn't going to wipe us out altogether.
For others of us, we want truth. We want to know what is possible to know. We ask "why" and "how." We look for all possible explanations, test them, and see what sticks. We "unweave the rainbow," as Richard Dawkins puts it. Once unweaved, the rainbow isn't any less marvelous. Did God create the rainbow? We can't answer that with 100% confidence, but we know HOW a rainbow is formed. We understand that it isn't an irregular miracle, but a reproducible coincidence based on science fact.
Science has "unweaved" a lot of rainbows. We can bring people back from the dead; that used to be only done by magic. We can cure diseases without witch doctors. We can predict the weather with some accuracy without crystal balls. We can even see stars from across the universe using only plates of glass and metal tubes (okay, a few more things, but you get the point).
We have to grow up as a race (humans) and start to focus on these sorts of answers. We need to build an educational system that is founded in science. We need to understand the role of myth, but not perpetuate it into daily life. We need to do a lot more unweaving than we are currently doing.
This doesn't edge out the need for faith or religion, and it doesn't strip life of its attractiveness. The search does enhance understanding of real truth. Let's stop attributing figurative "rainbows" to impersonal supernatural forces, and start using our calculators more often. Let's look into what physicists refer to as "the mind of God" rather than into the myths of God. Like the real rainbows we are all familiar with, the truth will always be beautiful to behold.
PS - I am leaving for Colorado on Friday, so I will not be posting from Friday to Sunday. I apologize for having so few updates lately. It is better to write only when I have time to think it through, don't you think?
"Why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side?"
The rainbow has been the recipient of wonder for many ages. Poets, lovers, children, and song writers all love the rainbow and its vivid imagery. It signifies hope during rainy days, is one of the first things a child learns to draw with crayons, represents unity between diverse members of a whole unit (whether sexuality or race) , and even caused Woodsworth to write "My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky..."
In Judaism and Christianity, this wonder is even taken a step further. It is seen as a sign from God, given to man (actually, to Noah) as a symbol of His promise never to flood the world again. So were there rainbows before this? It depends on your belief in the pre-deluge canopy... I digress.
The point I want to make is that a rainbow seems magical. It is a stripe of unnatural coloring in the sky in an unnatural shape (the arch). It occurs just rarely enough that a rainbow never fails to attract fawning viewers. It lasts such a short time, that we often feel as if we have been a part of a shared daydream.
But the rainbow is not magical. It is scientific. The rainbow is an expression of some basic aspects of physics (but also an expression of difficult mathematics). White light is a collection of all wavelengths of visible light. Each color is made up of the same "light", but possesses a unique wavelength.
If the sun is positioned just so and the viewer is also positioned properly, we perceive a rainbow when...
"A beam of sunlight plunges into the heart of a raindrop. As the beam pierces the outside of the drop, it bends... Acting like a prism, the raindrop refracts each color... a little more or little less than the next... Inside the raindrop, the colored rays collide with the inside wall. This wall acts like a mirror, and bounces rays off of it. Now, bent still more, they shoot back out of the raindrop through the same side they entered." (Wollard, Kathy 'How Come?')
The science is deeper, but you get the point. But does knowing this ruin a rainbow? Absolutely not. I even find that the numbers and physics add to the appeal. A rainbow is still a rainbow, whether it is painted by the hand of a god, or the result of equations and collisions.
There are a lot of things in life that we cherish, and do not want spoilt. We attribute so much of our life to the Unknown. We trust in "women's intuition," religion, and wives' tales. But do we spend any time searching for rational explanations?
Some people don't want to. A family member of mine once told me that he refused to watch the supplemental material on DVD's because it would ruin the movie for him. He doesn't want to know how it was done, he wants to revel in the magic. It is fun to write songs about rainbows, and what is on the other side. There is a huge upside to sharing the viewing of a rainbow with a special someone, and pontificating about the magical nature of it (magic talk can lead to kisses!). Its fun to imagine yourself chasing leprechauns and fairies over a rainbow to a pot of gold. It is reassuring to think that God lights up the sky once and awhile to reassure us that he isn't going to wipe us out altogether.
For others of us, we want truth. We want to know what is possible to know. We ask "why" and "how." We look for all possible explanations, test them, and see what sticks. We "unweave the rainbow," as Richard Dawkins puts it. Once unweaved, the rainbow isn't any less marvelous. Did God create the rainbow? We can't answer that with 100% confidence, but we know HOW a rainbow is formed. We understand that it isn't an irregular miracle, but a reproducible coincidence based on science fact.
Science has "unweaved" a lot of rainbows. We can bring people back from the dead; that used to be only done by magic. We can cure diseases without witch doctors. We can predict the weather with some accuracy without crystal balls. We can even see stars from across the universe using only plates of glass and metal tubes (okay, a few more things, but you get the point).
We have to grow up as a race (humans) and start to focus on these sorts of answers. We need to build an educational system that is founded in science. We need to understand the role of myth, but not perpetuate it into daily life. We need to do a lot more unweaving than we are currently doing.
This doesn't edge out the need for faith or religion, and it doesn't strip life of its attractiveness. The search does enhance understanding of real truth. Let's stop attributing figurative "rainbows" to impersonal supernatural forces, and start using our calculators more often. Let's look into what physicists refer to as "the mind of God" rather than into the myths of God. Like the real rainbows we are all familiar with, the truth will always be beautiful to behold.
PS - I am leaving for Colorado on Friday, so I will not be posting from Friday to Sunday. I apologize for having so few updates lately. It is better to write only when I have time to think it through, don't you think?
Monday, April 19, 2004
Worst. Blog. Ever.
According to Blender magazine's 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever, the worst song ever is "We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship. Okay, I agree that it wasn't a very good song, but I have troubles with it being called the worst song ever. I can recall several songs I couldn't even listen to a full minute of. Besides, We Built This City was a great song to roller skate to.
The problem comes with defining worst "ever." That is a mighty long time, and covers a ton of music. Most of us have a hard time describing the worst (or best) anything in our own experience, let alone in the collective history of the world.
Most things seem to be good or bad based on temporal limits. When I was in high school, the "best movie ever" was Evil Dead 2, or Star Wars. Now I know both of those movies are disposable. All of us like songs that are tied to feelings of the moment; a first dance, a road trip, and so on. It could be that when it comes to artistic expression, there can't be a best or worst ever.
I was also upset that Blender magazine had several songs on their "worst" list were actually very good, in my opinion. Some were tasty little pop songs (Body Is A Wonderland), and others were merely fun novelty products (I'm Too Sexy) of their time. How can you fault the musicians for using their talents as they wish? Not every song has to be Stairway to Heaven (which incidentally isn't all that great). Some lesser known songs, to the delight of us music snobs, are far better than anything on the radio. Bjork's "Pagan Poetry" or "Hyperballad" are both far more moving, and musically interesting than anything Janet Jackson has done, yet Miss Jackson has a wealth of awards for her work.
Most disappointing was the inclusion of The Doors' "The End" and Simon & Garfunkel's "Sounds of Silence." Both are haunting, soul-filled songs that express some deep emotions. The Doors' song was about misguided Freudian and Oedipal rage. Simon & Garfunkel sang about a haunting changing of the guard in America, and the disenfranchised feeling of the nation's youth. Not to mention both songs have elements that have been lost in music today (Doors had originality in its own avante-garde tribal sound, Simon and Garfunkel had harmony, meoldy, and something to say).
So much in life is truly subjective, especially art. You may even find that even human personalities are subjective. How many times have you been baffled by what draws one person to another for friendship or love? Why do people vote for certain politicians over others? What makes someone arbitrarily hate one nation's citizens over another?
The point that I guess I am getting at is we waste too much time assigning arbitrary value to nonsensical things. Why do we need to have a favorite color, best friend, or dream house? Aren't the complexity of life, love, and religion stimulating enough? Shouldn't art (musical or otherwise) be left free of value, so all can find individual meaning in it? Life is a subjective experience, and I am glad that it is. My short span of time here will be different from everyone elses (I hope), and it may be the only think that is wholly my own.
Besides, all you need to know is the best song ever is "Authority Song" by John Cougar Mellencamp. Nyaaah! :p See you tomorrow. I will have a "smarter" blog, I promise.
The problem comes with defining worst "ever." That is a mighty long time, and covers a ton of music. Most of us have a hard time describing the worst (or best) anything in our own experience, let alone in the collective history of the world.
Most things seem to be good or bad based on temporal limits. When I was in high school, the "best movie ever" was Evil Dead 2, or Star Wars. Now I know both of those movies are disposable. All of us like songs that are tied to feelings of the moment; a first dance, a road trip, and so on. It could be that when it comes to artistic expression, there can't be a best or worst ever.
I was also upset that Blender magazine had several songs on their "worst" list were actually very good, in my opinion. Some were tasty little pop songs (Body Is A Wonderland), and others were merely fun novelty products (I'm Too Sexy) of their time. How can you fault the musicians for using their talents as they wish? Not every song has to be Stairway to Heaven (which incidentally isn't all that great). Some lesser known songs, to the delight of us music snobs, are far better than anything on the radio. Bjork's "Pagan Poetry" or "Hyperballad" are both far more moving, and musically interesting than anything Janet Jackson has done, yet Miss Jackson has a wealth of awards for her work.
Most disappointing was the inclusion of The Doors' "The End" and Simon & Garfunkel's "Sounds of Silence." Both are haunting, soul-filled songs that express some deep emotions. The Doors' song was about misguided Freudian and Oedipal rage. Simon & Garfunkel sang about a haunting changing of the guard in America, and the disenfranchised feeling of the nation's youth. Not to mention both songs have elements that have been lost in music today (Doors had originality in its own avante-garde tribal sound, Simon and Garfunkel had harmony, meoldy, and something to say).
So much in life is truly subjective, especially art. You may even find that even human personalities are subjective. How many times have you been baffled by what draws one person to another for friendship or love? Why do people vote for certain politicians over others? What makes someone arbitrarily hate one nation's citizens over another?
The point that I guess I am getting at is we waste too much time assigning arbitrary value to nonsensical things. Why do we need to have a favorite color, best friend, or dream house? Aren't the complexity of life, love, and religion stimulating enough? Shouldn't art (musical or otherwise) be left free of value, so all can find individual meaning in it? Life is a subjective experience, and I am glad that it is. My short span of time here will be different from everyone elses (I hope), and it may be the only think that is wholly my own.
Besides, all you need to know is the best song ever is "Authority Song" by John Cougar Mellencamp. Nyaaah! :p See you tomorrow. I will have a "smarter" blog, I promise.
Friday, April 16, 2004
Fideism defined (aka an outside definition of what I claimed my faith to be in a previous post)
Real quick, I found what I was looking for a few days ago. Here is a good explanation of fideism (what I tend to lean towards religiously).
"To be a fideist is to believe that fundamental religious beliefs rest solely and completely on faith. Finite and sinful man cannot by the use of his unaided reason come to know God. Belief and unbelief are intellectually on a par, religious experience is unalterably ambiguous as to the reality of its object, and the exist ence of God can never be established by empirical investigation or philosophical demonstration.
"But the storms and stresses of our lives will drive us to faith. We must turn to God to overcome despair and the "threat of meaninglessness." Without God life can indeed be nothing more than a "tale told by an idiot." Faith will give our lives an anchor, will enable us to overcome that sickness unto death that goes with a loss of God, but with or without faith, we will only see through a glass darkly, for God remains an utter mystery and a thorough scandal to the intellect.
"Intellectually speaking, a belief in God is absurd; taken as a hypothesis it is at best fanciful. The believer, the "knight of faith," can only trust that he is not "whistling in the dark," is not believing something that is thoroughly illusory, when he accepts the God revealed in the Scriptures as an ultimate reality. Here, the quest for certainty or even for a guide that will give us "reasonable probabilities" is a quixotic quest. The believer must simply take the leap of faith without any intellectual assurance at all that he is leaping in the right direction. But this total risk is well worth it for without God man's life is without meaning."
This was found here.
"To be a fideist is to believe that fundamental religious beliefs rest solely and completely on faith. Finite and sinful man cannot by the use of his unaided reason come to know God. Belief and unbelief are intellectually on a par, religious experience is unalterably ambiguous as to the reality of its object, and the exist ence of God can never be established by empirical investigation or philosophical demonstration.
"But the storms and stresses of our lives will drive us to faith. We must turn to God to overcome despair and the "threat of meaninglessness." Without God life can indeed be nothing more than a "tale told by an idiot." Faith will give our lives an anchor, will enable us to overcome that sickness unto death that goes with a loss of God, but with or without faith, we will only see through a glass darkly, for God remains an utter mystery and a thorough scandal to the intellect.
"Intellectually speaking, a belief in God is absurd; taken as a hypothesis it is at best fanciful. The believer, the "knight of faith," can only trust that he is not "whistling in the dark," is not believing something that is thoroughly illusory, when he accepts the God revealed in the Scriptures as an ultimate reality. Here, the quest for certainty or even for a guide that will give us "reasonable probabilities" is a quixotic quest. The believer must simply take the leap of faith without any intellectual assurance at all that he is leaping in the right direction. But this total risk is well worth it for without God man's life is without meaning."
This was found here.
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Taking care of our planet.
The Japanese prisoners have been set free in Iraq! This is very good news! I hope that they were not harmed physically or mentally during this ordeal; let's hope they can return to their families and find hope in life again. I also continue to wish for the safety of the other multinational prisoners being held by the terrorists.
Oh, and I reached 200 page views on my site! Thanks to all who visit and refer others here. Mostly, thanks to those of you who read this site, and get to know me a little better. I have been happier than I have been in a long time since I started this site. Thanks again! On to 500!
I was told a sad story today. In the house next to my mother's, there has always been a large pine tree. The new owner decided he did not want a pine tree, so he cut it down. This is sad enough, as the neighborhood I grew up in used to have many trees, but now has few. Anyway, After he cut it down, the neighborhood cardinal sat on the fence and chirped all morning. My mother went to the tree, and found the bird's nest. There were eggs in it. By the time she found the nest, and sat it in a nearby bush, the bird had left. How sad that the bird's egg and home had to be destroyed because a young man did not want a pine tree in his yard. It was not hurting anything, and actually was making the yard look much nicer.
This reminds me: we are being far too ignorant with how we are managing the planet. We tend to live our lifestyles how we want, without regard for the consequences. We need to be looking at potential risks now, before it is too late. Already many lakes and grasslands, not to mention the rain forests and wetlands, are being destroyed for good. Animals are loosing habitats, air quality is dwindling, and soon food itself will find lower production.
Take for instance China. In the inner Mongolian grasslands, many families live simple, pastoral lives. They raise sheep and cows, and do so without fences or feedlots. They have done so for ages. But elsewhere in China, things are "progressing." Shanghai is a city bustling with people, and prosperity. It makes up 1/4th of the world's meat consumption all by itself!
This demand for meat has created a dilemma for the pastoralists. They now raise too many livestock for the land. There are 73 million acres that are slowly deteriorating, and once it is damaged, we may not get it back. Even the cattle are suffering from lack of water and enough food. Yet the demand for tasty meat being always available continues.
The over herding of these grasslands creates loose topsoil. When the winds increase, Beijing (300 miles away) is blanketed with dense yellow dust. It is so bad that visibility is almost too poor to drive, and the air is hazardous to respiratory systems of humans. All of this because of poor thinking by humans.
The hardest part to accept for me is that these grasslands have existed for so long, only to be destroyed now. The people themselves find a proud and long standing lifestyle threatened. The world is becoming "globalized" at the expense of tradition, the environment, and common sense. We all too often wait for disaster before we act to reverse the effects of a greedy lifestyle.
The market economy that we live in can work, if we are responsible. Each one of us needs to do our part by limiting our waste, recognizing ways to avoid harming the planet for convenient, and to change lifestyles that hurt others. I personally have further intensified my personal ban on meat. I still eat chicken and fish, but for now I think giving up beef and pork as a staple food is a good step. I am aware that some fishes are on "avoid" lists as well, and I will follow these lists as soon as I learn them.
I would encourage all of you to follow this example, and add more vegetables into your diet. The planet is a mess due to greedy expansion and poor foresight. Let's not stand by and watch as our planet is consumed.
Try to buy less items that are over-packaged. Try to buy items that can be refilled rather than replaced. Try not to depend on fossil fuel so much (gasoline is expensive anyway, ride a bike). Just today I found myself driving one mile to buy a single soda pop. I have tea and water at home! If I felt I needed an overpackaged bottle of pop so bad, I should have biked or walked. It was plenty close enough. I am ashamed of what I did, and this further sets me on the path to ecologically responsible living.
Eat foods that are grown in environments that can support them. Encourage the limitation of pesticides and fertilizer that end up in our water. And lastly, try your best to recycle, or used recycled goods.
This is not a "tree hugging" thing, this is good practice in stewardship. We are not the only ones who use this planet as our home; the numerous plants and animals, and future humans will appreciate our work at fixing history's ecological mistakes.
Let's not treat this planet like the man next to my mother's house; let's not destroy our environment for aesthetics and convenience. Let's make sure that we try to preserve the fragile balance of life however we can.
Oh, and I reached 200 page views on my site! Thanks to all who visit and refer others here. Mostly, thanks to those of you who read this site, and get to know me a little better. I have been happier than I have been in a long time since I started this site. Thanks again! On to 500!
I was told a sad story today. In the house next to my mother's, there has always been a large pine tree. The new owner decided he did not want a pine tree, so he cut it down. This is sad enough, as the neighborhood I grew up in used to have many trees, but now has few. Anyway, After he cut it down, the neighborhood cardinal sat on the fence and chirped all morning. My mother went to the tree, and found the bird's nest. There were eggs in it. By the time she found the nest, and sat it in a nearby bush, the bird had left. How sad that the bird's egg and home had to be destroyed because a young man did not want a pine tree in his yard. It was not hurting anything, and actually was making the yard look much nicer.
This reminds me: we are being far too ignorant with how we are managing the planet. We tend to live our lifestyles how we want, without regard for the consequences. We need to be looking at potential risks now, before it is too late. Already many lakes and grasslands, not to mention the rain forests and wetlands, are being destroyed for good. Animals are loosing habitats, air quality is dwindling, and soon food itself will find lower production.
Take for instance China. In the inner Mongolian grasslands, many families live simple, pastoral lives. They raise sheep and cows, and do so without fences or feedlots. They have done so for ages. But elsewhere in China, things are "progressing." Shanghai is a city bustling with people, and prosperity. It makes up 1/4th of the world's meat consumption all by itself!
This demand for meat has created a dilemma for the pastoralists. They now raise too many livestock for the land. There are 73 million acres that are slowly deteriorating, and once it is damaged, we may not get it back. Even the cattle are suffering from lack of water and enough food. Yet the demand for tasty meat being always available continues.
The over herding of these grasslands creates loose topsoil. When the winds increase, Beijing (300 miles away) is blanketed with dense yellow dust. It is so bad that visibility is almost too poor to drive, and the air is hazardous to respiratory systems of humans. All of this because of poor thinking by humans.
The hardest part to accept for me is that these grasslands have existed for so long, only to be destroyed now. The people themselves find a proud and long standing lifestyle threatened. The world is becoming "globalized" at the expense of tradition, the environment, and common sense. We all too often wait for disaster before we act to reverse the effects of a greedy lifestyle.
The market economy that we live in can work, if we are responsible. Each one of us needs to do our part by limiting our waste, recognizing ways to avoid harming the planet for convenient, and to change lifestyles that hurt others. I personally have further intensified my personal ban on meat. I still eat chicken and fish, but for now I think giving up beef and pork as a staple food is a good step. I am aware that some fishes are on "avoid" lists as well, and I will follow these lists as soon as I learn them.
I would encourage all of you to follow this example, and add more vegetables into your diet. The planet is a mess due to greedy expansion and poor foresight. Let's not stand by and watch as our planet is consumed.
Try to buy less items that are over-packaged. Try to buy items that can be refilled rather than replaced. Try not to depend on fossil fuel so much (gasoline is expensive anyway, ride a bike). Just today I found myself driving one mile to buy a single soda pop. I have tea and water at home! If I felt I needed an overpackaged bottle of pop so bad, I should have biked or walked. It was plenty close enough. I am ashamed of what I did, and this further sets me on the path to ecologically responsible living.
Eat foods that are grown in environments that can support them. Encourage the limitation of pesticides and fertilizer that end up in our water. And lastly, try your best to recycle, or used recycled goods.
This is not a "tree hugging" thing, this is good practice in stewardship. We are not the only ones who use this planet as our home; the numerous plants and animals, and future humans will appreciate our work at fixing history's ecological mistakes.
Let's not treat this planet like the man next to my mother's house; let's not destroy our environment for aesthetics and convenience. Let's make sure that we try to preserve the fragile balance of life however we can.
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Is Christianity the Natural Antithesis of Atheism? Is Christianity Just another Expression of Man's Common Search for the Supernatural?
Konnichiwa! I'm off to a busy day already, with a lot of reading to do for classes. That is why I am making my blog entry a little sooner today. I have many things in mind to discuss, but I will try to focus on one topic today.
Yesterday I left a link for you to read. It was a short devotional essay about atheism, written friend Paul, who is a Christian minister and scholar. I was curious what you all thought about his thoughts on atheism? The link is here if you missed it. (Look for his April 13th entry)
Atheism is a curious philosophy to me, because it would seem that mankind, since the beginning, has been grasping out to understand spirituality. It would seem that by nature, we expect there to be something beyond our perception. There are many threads that connect the beliefs of humans throughout history, and to me that is evidence that there is something at work "beyond" us. Atheism is a denial of this age-old belief that there are supernatural forces, and maybe even beings at work in our universe.
The problem I have is the assumption that the antithesis to atheism is naturally Christianity. Christianity is actually very similar to many other prior religions and beliefs, which I will discuss below. The question we then have is "Is Christianity a successful manifestation of prior thoughts on superstition, or do prior religious attitudes reflect ghosts of the truth, therefore appear similar to Christianity?"
Here are some of the similar aspects shared between Christianity and other religions.
1) The belief in a morality (right and wrong). It is a basic concept, and critics say that religion exists because of man's need to codify societal rules for good behavior and bad behavior. In many religions, we are told that how we behave effects our ultimate outcome.
2) An invisible spiritual world. This one is obvious, since if it were visible, it would be natural. Religions vary in the number of gods. There does seem to usually be a line between the good god, and a god (or pseudo god) that governs evil. Christianity offers very little new insight to this aspect, as God is in his heaven, beyond our view. In Christianity, God's messengers (and the devil's as well) often visit Earth in the form of ghosts (ghost of Moses in the gospels), animals (Baalam's donkey), humans (angels), and even plants (burning bush). This is a largely modified version of animism, in which all living things have spirits.
3) The belief in magic. Christianity is no stranger to the superstitious practice of magic. The Old Testament is full of witches and soothsayers. It seems that God Himself has even commissioned his own warlock-like messengers (prophets) to combat bad information circulating on Earth; they act as his mouthpiece. When it comes to the ability to see into the unknown, talk to the dead/spirits, or even curse people, Christianity agrees with other religious systems in confirming that such things can happen.
4) Shamanism. In many developed religions, there is a place for someone to play out the role of shaman. This character defends his people from spiritual harm. The shaman alone can mediate between the spirits and humans. Shaman are often referred to as "sin-eaters," as they often heal sickness and curses but absorbing them into his own body. The shaman's jobs are to act as medicine man, and to suffer so that others may be healed. Jesus himself is the image of a shaman. He bore the sin of the world so that we may have hope of salvation, and suffered to fulfill our redemption. Christ is Christianity's shaman. In some South American cultures, the shaman-kings were often physically beaten in rituals, so that they could suffer and shed blood for their people.
5) The embodiment of god. Key to understanding Christianity is the belief that Jesus was God. Many religions have a person to embodies god. The Incan cultures believed that the reigning king was indeed a god, as did the Egyptians. Why wouldn't you want to believe that the man who steers the destiny of your culture is supernatural? Jesus was often referred to in such metaphors; king, the door/gate, the way (Tao?), the word... In Old Testament times, God was represented by the governing Law, and represented by a hand picked king.
6) Creation accounts. These admittedly vary between cultures, but they fall into a few distinct categories. I am not prepared to type an accurate discussion on this, but if you are interested, I can email you an essay on it later, photo copy an article or two that I have, or even post a blog about it. In short, Christianity believes that the reigning God created existence. In all religions similar beliefs are held. It seems that believing in the supernatural also is linked to purposeful existence, a fact that strongly drives religion. Religious systems that ignore purpose in existence tend to fade away.
I'll quit there. As you can see, Christianity is only but one type of religion out there, and it shares many features with other belief systems. From deluge stories to the great beyond, aspects of Christianity appear elsewhere in world religions. It would seem that there are many alternatives to atheism. Christianity is not the natural antithesis to atheism.
So in today's world, why do so many "believers" practice Christianity, or its grandfather Judaism? What is it about Christianity that makes it true? Where does it get its authority and primacy if it is a collection of similar imagery to other religions? I will not attempt to completely answer this, because that would be a foolish attempt. Each one of us has to answer these sorts of things for themselves (and many things defy being fully answered). In coming blogs, I will continue to throw out pieces of this debate, and explore evidence and counter-evidence as well.
I hope that Paul's article got you thinking, and I hope mine did as well. My conclusion is this: on the surface, atheism does not seem like a valid choice at all when you look at the history of man and his religions. It would seem that the human condition yearns for the supernatural.
The key issue here is "why?" Why does man seek the supernatural? Is it due to his designed purpose? Is it because it indeed exists and we can sense that? Is it a by-product of biochemistry and cognition that evolution has left us with? Or, is it because religion is a meme that is evolutionary fit, and has ingrained itself deeply on the minds of all cultures (who share common ancestors)?
Atheism, to me personally, is not an attractive position. I do think that agnosticism is a much better position, as it more intellectually honest. Agnosticism is the belief that the answer for supernatural questions is unknowable, therefore we suspend belief and focus on what can be known. Many agnostics even practice various faiths, realizing that there is a need for spirituality. The agnostic is somewhat hesitant to claim authority for one religion, because they do not believe such things will ever be definite. An agnostic dwells in the finite and the "knowable," and deals with the supernatural in a philosophical and cultural manner.
To learn more about agnosticism, go here to read an article by Bertrand Russell. There are also many resources on the web to explore atheism. A good place to read on atheism is here.
I would suggest these books if you are interested in comparing various patterns of religious thinking.
The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel
The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan
The Belief Trilogy ( The Science of Good and Evil, Why People Believe Weird Things, How We Believe) by Michael Shermer
Secret Origins of the Bible by Tim Callahan
Thanks for reading! It was long, but I wanted to address religion this week, so this was a good opportunity to do so. See you!
PS - In case you are wondering where I stand, I am a Christian Skeptic, or a Fideist. It is closely related to agnostic thinking, but I believe that part of the fulfillment of faith is "going out on a limb" and living as though some things are absolute although they are unknowable. I understand that reason may not always explain faith; so in matters where there is a lack of evidence, I trust in faith. But in other matters, I yield to the scientific method. I tend to be skeptical about stories of modern miracles and sightings of spiritual beings, and I am not too quick to attribute outcomes in life to divine intervention. My lineage comes from Thomas, who demanded to see the risen Christ's wounds before belief.
I believe in a loving, personal God, and that he indeed expects a moral, loving life to be lived. I also believe that the ultimate cause of the universe is unknowable by science, but that evolution is a reality. I understand that at any time I can be wrong, and I adjust as I am corrected. I believe that there is truth, and if I found that Christianity was contrary to it, I would side with truth.
Yesterday I left a link for you to read. It was a short devotional essay about atheism, written friend Paul, who is a Christian minister and scholar. I was curious what you all thought about his thoughts on atheism? The link is here if you missed it. (Look for his April 13th entry)
Atheism is a curious philosophy to me, because it would seem that mankind, since the beginning, has been grasping out to understand spirituality. It would seem that by nature, we expect there to be something beyond our perception. There are many threads that connect the beliefs of humans throughout history, and to me that is evidence that there is something at work "beyond" us. Atheism is a denial of this age-old belief that there are supernatural forces, and maybe even beings at work in our universe.
The problem I have is the assumption that the antithesis to atheism is naturally Christianity. Christianity is actually very similar to many other prior religions and beliefs, which I will discuss below. The question we then have is "Is Christianity a successful manifestation of prior thoughts on superstition, or do prior religious attitudes reflect ghosts of the truth, therefore appear similar to Christianity?"
Here are some of the similar aspects shared between Christianity and other religions.
1) The belief in a morality (right and wrong). It is a basic concept, and critics say that religion exists because of man's need to codify societal rules for good behavior and bad behavior. In many religions, we are told that how we behave effects our ultimate outcome.
2) An invisible spiritual world. This one is obvious, since if it were visible, it would be natural. Religions vary in the number of gods. There does seem to usually be a line between the good god, and a god (or pseudo god) that governs evil. Christianity offers very little new insight to this aspect, as God is in his heaven, beyond our view. In Christianity, God's messengers (and the devil's as well) often visit Earth in the form of ghosts (ghost of Moses in the gospels), animals (Baalam's donkey), humans (angels), and even plants (burning bush). This is a largely modified version of animism, in which all living things have spirits.
3) The belief in magic. Christianity is no stranger to the superstitious practice of magic. The Old Testament is full of witches and soothsayers. It seems that God Himself has even commissioned his own warlock-like messengers (prophets) to combat bad information circulating on Earth; they act as his mouthpiece. When it comes to the ability to see into the unknown, talk to the dead/spirits, or even curse people, Christianity agrees with other religious systems in confirming that such things can happen.
4) Shamanism. In many developed religions, there is a place for someone to play out the role of shaman. This character defends his people from spiritual harm. The shaman alone can mediate between the spirits and humans. Shaman are often referred to as "sin-eaters," as they often heal sickness and curses but absorbing them into his own body. The shaman's jobs are to act as medicine man, and to suffer so that others may be healed. Jesus himself is the image of a shaman. He bore the sin of the world so that we may have hope of salvation, and suffered to fulfill our redemption. Christ is Christianity's shaman. In some South American cultures, the shaman-kings were often physically beaten in rituals, so that they could suffer and shed blood for their people.
5) The embodiment of god. Key to understanding Christianity is the belief that Jesus was God. Many religions have a person to embodies god. The Incan cultures believed that the reigning king was indeed a god, as did the Egyptians. Why wouldn't you want to believe that the man who steers the destiny of your culture is supernatural? Jesus was often referred to in such metaphors; king, the door/gate, the way (Tao?), the word... In Old Testament times, God was represented by the governing Law, and represented by a hand picked king.
6) Creation accounts. These admittedly vary between cultures, but they fall into a few distinct categories. I am not prepared to type an accurate discussion on this, but if you are interested, I can email you an essay on it later, photo copy an article or two that I have, or even post a blog about it. In short, Christianity believes that the reigning God created existence. In all religions similar beliefs are held. It seems that believing in the supernatural also is linked to purposeful existence, a fact that strongly drives religion. Religious systems that ignore purpose in existence tend to fade away.
I'll quit there. As you can see, Christianity is only but one type of religion out there, and it shares many features with other belief systems. From deluge stories to the great beyond, aspects of Christianity appear elsewhere in world religions. It would seem that there are many alternatives to atheism. Christianity is not the natural antithesis to atheism.
So in today's world, why do so many "believers" practice Christianity, or its grandfather Judaism? What is it about Christianity that makes it true? Where does it get its authority and primacy if it is a collection of similar imagery to other religions? I will not attempt to completely answer this, because that would be a foolish attempt. Each one of us has to answer these sorts of things for themselves (and many things defy being fully answered). In coming blogs, I will continue to throw out pieces of this debate, and explore evidence and counter-evidence as well.
I hope that Paul's article got you thinking, and I hope mine did as well. My conclusion is this: on the surface, atheism does not seem like a valid choice at all when you look at the history of man and his religions. It would seem that the human condition yearns for the supernatural.
The key issue here is "why?" Why does man seek the supernatural? Is it due to his designed purpose? Is it because it indeed exists and we can sense that? Is it a by-product of biochemistry and cognition that evolution has left us with? Or, is it because religion is a meme that is evolutionary fit, and has ingrained itself deeply on the minds of all cultures (who share common ancestors)?
Atheism, to me personally, is not an attractive position. I do think that agnosticism is a much better position, as it more intellectually honest. Agnosticism is the belief that the answer for supernatural questions is unknowable, therefore we suspend belief and focus on what can be known. Many agnostics even practice various faiths, realizing that there is a need for spirituality. The agnostic is somewhat hesitant to claim authority for one religion, because they do not believe such things will ever be definite. An agnostic dwells in the finite and the "knowable," and deals with the supernatural in a philosophical and cultural manner.
To learn more about agnosticism, go here to read an article by Bertrand Russell. There are also many resources on the web to explore atheism. A good place to read on atheism is here.
I would suggest these books if you are interested in comparing various patterns of religious thinking.
The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel
The Demon Haunted World by Carl Sagan
The Belief Trilogy ( The Science of Good and Evil, Why People Believe Weird Things, How We Believe) by Michael Shermer
Secret Origins of the Bible by Tim Callahan
Thanks for reading! It was long, but I wanted to address religion this week, so this was a good opportunity to do so. See you!
PS - In case you are wondering where I stand, I am a Christian Skeptic, or a Fideist. It is closely related to agnostic thinking, but I believe that part of the fulfillment of faith is "going out on a limb" and living as though some things are absolute although they are unknowable. I understand that reason may not always explain faith; so in matters where there is a lack of evidence, I trust in faith. But in other matters, I yield to the scientific method. I tend to be skeptical about stories of modern miracles and sightings of spiritual beings, and I am not too quick to attribute outcomes in life to divine intervention. My lineage comes from Thomas, who demanded to see the risen Christ's wounds before belief.
I believe in a loving, personal God, and that he indeed expects a moral, loving life to be lived. I also believe that the ultimate cause of the universe is unknowable by science, but that evolution is a reality. I understand that at any time I can be wrong, and I adjust as I am corrected. I believe that there is truth, and if I found that Christianity was contrary to it, I would side with truth.
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
My first onigiri! Oh, and some other good news!
Hello all! My friend Christina was accepted into nursing school! Way to go!
Today I not only tasted my first umeboshi (Japanese pickled plum/apricot), but I also made my first onigiri. It is hard to say how it turned out, because I have only ever seen it in magazines and books. It tasted good, but it wasn't shaped as nicely as those pictures I had seen. I was happy to try it! I am anxious to try to cook more Japanese dishes soon. My problem is, once the rice is cooked I like to eat it before I use it in recipes!
I received a letter from Creighton University today....... and...... I have made it to the alternates list! This is good news! In the month of May the committee reviews all alternates. They separate them into three groups; denied applicants (booo!), alternates (in case someone who was accepted decides to change their plans), and those who are accepted into remaining seats! I hope I can still be accepted! Keep sending me your best wishes while I wait (again) for news!
I was also happy to hear that I got 100% on my physics test. Actually, the website shows my teacher as recording it as 103%. Not too shabby! There is a funny story behind this test, but it is hard to type... let's just say that the teacher was trying to trick us into cheating on it.
So that is all my good news! Now on to other things...
Should I join weight watchers? I have troubles being overweight. I am 6'0" tall, and weight about 227 pounds. I have struggled to eat well, and exercise for many years now. I sometimes go for weeks without "being good," and other times I eat well and exercise a lot. My weight bounces between 220 and 230 pounds. This is bad, because my ideal weight is closer to 170 pounds. What should I do? I think I would respond well to a program that let me eat real food, and also if I had to be accountable to someone. Weight watchers seems to offer these features. The problem is these diet clinics charge money. Is it worth it?
I have poor willpower when it comes to these things. When school or work become hectic, or when my schedule changes (as it often does), I tend to let myself go. This is why I had to give up Tai Chi, and why last year I hardly rode my bicycle at all. I was doing a good job running regularly, until a dog bit me in the butt (that hurt!). Then it was winter.
I have a gym membership to the local YMCA, it costs me $20 a month through my work... but I have not went for the five months I have had it. Sandy and I used to play racquetball whenever we had a chance, but the local gym rose the fees from $2 a person to $5 a person!
Not to mention, I eat on the go a lot. I tend to grab drive-thru fast food, and rarely cook myself anything. When I do eat at home it is either peanut butter, ramen noodles, or rice + stir fry vegetables.My body is unable to get into a good routine. This goes for sleeping as well, which also effects my health.
To top it all off, I have a very bad caffeine addiction. I crave soda pop constantly. If I go too many hours without caffeine I can feel myself getting cranky and my head aches. I sometimes can talk myself into drinking diet soda, but I rarely drink enough water or milk. I enjoy green tea every night, which helps my nerves and my taste buds, but I am afraid that it only enhances my caffeine addiction.
*SIGH!* What should I do? I turn 30 this November, and do not want to enter my next phase of life looking as I do. I want to be healthy. I don't necessarily need to be thin, but I would like to weight under 100 kilograms!
So what do you think? Should I join Weight Watchers, or should I just try for the 30th straight year to buckle down on my own merit.
Do any of you struggle with similar problems? :) Talk to you next time!
PS - I am afraid things are not changing in Iraq. Please pray for the civilian captives as well as their families. President Bush made a speech tonight on TV saying that they are going to "finish the job" in Iraq. I hope that means we are setting a few definite goals, and then exiting. Why does the world have to be filled with this kind of nonsense?
PPS - my friend Paul had an interesting entry on his site today. click here to read it. It is about atheism. I am curious, what do you all think about atheism? Maybe I will write about it the next entry.
Today I not only tasted my first umeboshi (Japanese pickled plum/apricot), but I also made my first onigiri. It is hard to say how it turned out, because I have only ever seen it in magazines and books. It tasted good, but it wasn't shaped as nicely as those pictures I had seen. I was happy to try it! I am anxious to try to cook more Japanese dishes soon. My problem is, once the rice is cooked I like to eat it before I use it in recipes!
I received a letter from Creighton University today....... and...... I have made it to the alternates list! This is good news! In the month of May the committee reviews all alternates. They separate them into three groups; denied applicants (booo!), alternates (in case someone who was accepted decides to change their plans), and those who are accepted into remaining seats! I hope I can still be accepted! Keep sending me your best wishes while I wait (again) for news!
I was also happy to hear that I got 100% on my physics test. Actually, the website shows my teacher as recording it as 103%. Not too shabby! There is a funny story behind this test, but it is hard to type... let's just say that the teacher was trying to trick us into cheating on it.
So that is all my good news! Now on to other things...
Should I join weight watchers? I have troubles being overweight. I am 6'0" tall, and weight about 227 pounds. I have struggled to eat well, and exercise for many years now. I sometimes go for weeks without "being good," and other times I eat well and exercise a lot. My weight bounces between 220 and 230 pounds. This is bad, because my ideal weight is closer to 170 pounds. What should I do? I think I would respond well to a program that let me eat real food, and also if I had to be accountable to someone. Weight watchers seems to offer these features. The problem is these diet clinics charge money. Is it worth it?
I have poor willpower when it comes to these things. When school or work become hectic, or when my schedule changes (as it often does), I tend to let myself go. This is why I had to give up Tai Chi, and why last year I hardly rode my bicycle at all. I was doing a good job running regularly, until a dog bit me in the butt (that hurt!). Then it was winter.
I have a gym membership to the local YMCA, it costs me $20 a month through my work... but I have not went for the five months I have had it. Sandy and I used to play racquetball whenever we had a chance, but the local gym rose the fees from $2 a person to $5 a person!
Not to mention, I eat on the go a lot. I tend to grab drive-thru fast food, and rarely cook myself anything. When I do eat at home it is either peanut butter, ramen noodles, or rice + stir fry vegetables.My body is unable to get into a good routine. This goes for sleeping as well, which also effects my health.
To top it all off, I have a very bad caffeine addiction. I crave soda pop constantly. If I go too many hours without caffeine I can feel myself getting cranky and my head aches. I sometimes can talk myself into drinking diet soda, but I rarely drink enough water or milk. I enjoy green tea every night, which helps my nerves and my taste buds, but I am afraid that it only enhances my caffeine addiction.
*SIGH!* What should I do? I turn 30 this November, and do not want to enter my next phase of life looking as I do. I want to be healthy. I don't necessarily need to be thin, but I would like to weight under 100 kilograms!
So what do you think? Should I join Weight Watchers, or should I just try for the 30th straight year to buckle down on my own merit.
Do any of you struggle with similar problems? :) Talk to you next time!
PS - I am afraid things are not changing in Iraq. Please pray for the civilian captives as well as their families. President Bush made a speech tonight on TV saying that they are going to "finish the job" in Iraq. I hope that means we are setting a few definite goals, and then exiting. Why does the world have to be filled with this kind of nonsense?
PPS - my friend Paul had an interesting entry on his site today. click here to read it. It is about atheism. I am curious, what do you all think about atheism? Maybe I will write about it the next entry.
Saturday, April 10, 2004
No more executed civilians. The USA and Japan need to get out of Iraq... for now.
Iraq has been a place of bloodshed and hatred for many years, and the bulk of this has been aimed at the non-Muslim world that my friends and I know best (The USA, Japan, England).
Even though our own President has declared that the "war" is over, and has put our forces to the task of so-called nation-building, violence continues. The Iraqi brand of religion-fueled guerrilla warfare is ugly and shows no sign of being squelched.
This has come to a new low... the Iraqis have begun to take prisoners of foreigners who are present. These are not people who are politically significant, or militarily involved. Thee are men and women who are serving as contractors for the rebuilding effort. To the shame of humanity, these men and women are being made pawns in a game they have no real stake in.
If these aggressors can so blindly hate and destroy those who have no quarrel with them, based only on the country they originate from, then this is a war we are not equipped (or willing) to win. We need to leave Iraq, and regroup within our own nations.
The US has had a long history of being involved on foreign soil. I personally think it is shameful that we are continually throwing our young men and women's lives away for such causes. Too many have died since the "end" of conflict, and the random, terrible manner of these new deaths screams that we are unwelcome, and that we are failing to make progress. But these are the decisions our government makes.
Japan has made an uncharacteristic step by sending forces, as they have not done so since WWII. Japan may be trying to show its willingness to support the cause of the US and England, but I think that in this case, they would be right to withdrawtheir forces, and not become involved in such a stalemate.
How do we, even as combined nations, win a war on hatred and misguided religious fanaticism? We cannot. And for this reason I personally ask my own nation, the USA, and a nation dear to my soul, Japan, to remove themselves from Iraqi soil for the time being. At the least compliance, I would hope that all contractors and correspondents would have the sense to abandon hope for peace, and return home. There is no nation-building that can undo this climate, not at this time.
I ask this because I do not want to see my brothers and sisters continually taken hostage, and then publicly brutalized and murdered. One US contractor is currently captive, and it looks as if the US refuses to negotiate. One of my kinsmen will meet a grisly death due to my own nation's military and its stubbornness.
Likewise, three Japanese citizens have been abducted, and the threat being made is that their captors plan to publicly burn them alive. Japan has made a great effort to appeal to the captors, and there is hope for the three to be released. But this should act as a warning to Japan.
Our governments have to make tough decisions in such times, and it is inevitable that their hands will be stained with the blood of the innocent. But this current war and occupation cannot be the answer. Unified goals seem absent, we keep pouring men into Iraq only to have them ambushed and killed, and innocent lives are being lost.
This certainly cannot be the answer to the "problem" in Iraq. Cultures that find themselves in conflict will inevitably clash, but for the time being, we can help it. We can withdraw, and geography can play peace keeper. We cannot prevent terrorism, hatred, or ignorance in our own country... what makes us think we can implement and enforce it elsewhere?
Japan and USA, leave Iraq... until a better solution becomes evident.
PS – My hopes are with the families of all captives, and I hope your respective nations find a way to liberate your loved ones soon.
Even though our own President has declared that the "war" is over, and has put our forces to the task of so-called nation-building, violence continues. The Iraqi brand of religion-fueled guerrilla warfare is ugly and shows no sign of being squelched.
This has come to a new low... the Iraqis have begun to take prisoners of foreigners who are present. These are not people who are politically significant, or militarily involved. Thee are men and women who are serving as contractors for the rebuilding effort. To the shame of humanity, these men and women are being made pawns in a game they have no real stake in.
If these aggressors can so blindly hate and destroy those who have no quarrel with them, based only on the country they originate from, then this is a war we are not equipped (or willing) to win. We need to leave Iraq, and regroup within our own nations.
The US has had a long history of being involved on foreign soil. I personally think it is shameful that we are continually throwing our young men and women's lives away for such causes. Too many have died since the "end" of conflict, and the random, terrible manner of these new deaths screams that we are unwelcome, and that we are failing to make progress. But these are the decisions our government makes.
Japan has made an uncharacteristic step by sending forces, as they have not done so since WWII. Japan may be trying to show its willingness to support the cause of the US and England, but I think that in this case, they would be right to withdrawtheir forces, and not become involved in such a stalemate.
How do we, even as combined nations, win a war on hatred and misguided religious fanaticism? We cannot. And for this reason I personally ask my own nation, the USA, and a nation dear to my soul, Japan, to remove themselves from Iraqi soil for the time being. At the least compliance, I would hope that all contractors and correspondents would have the sense to abandon hope for peace, and return home. There is no nation-building that can undo this climate, not at this time.
I ask this because I do not want to see my brothers and sisters continually taken hostage, and then publicly brutalized and murdered. One US contractor is currently captive, and it looks as if the US refuses to negotiate. One of my kinsmen will meet a grisly death due to my own nation's military and its stubbornness.
Likewise, three Japanese citizens have been abducted, and the threat being made is that their captors plan to publicly burn them alive. Japan has made a great effort to appeal to the captors, and there is hope for the three to be released. But this should act as a warning to Japan.
Our governments have to make tough decisions in such times, and it is inevitable that their hands will be stained with the blood of the innocent. But this current war and occupation cannot be the answer. Unified goals seem absent, we keep pouring men into Iraq only to have them ambushed and killed, and innocent lives are being lost.
This certainly cannot be the answer to the "problem" in Iraq. Cultures that find themselves in conflict will inevitably clash, but for the time being, we can help it. We can withdraw, and geography can play peace keeper. We cannot prevent terrorism, hatred, or ignorance in our own country... what makes us think we can implement and enforce it elsewhere?
Japan and USA, leave Iraq... until a better solution becomes evident.
PS – My hopes are with the families of all captives, and I hope your respective nations find a way to liberate your loved ones soon.
A late night entry
Boy, what a rotten night! I did not get to go to an event I wished to go to, and I was stuck sitting alone, doing homework. Yuck. So I thought I would write a short blog to get my mind off of my bad night.
I installed a site counter on my blog spot a few weeks ago. It is sort of silly, because I started this thing as a diary, and did not care if anyone read it or not. But then I became curious, are people reading it? I should not let it matter, but I find myself trying harder to write better entries when attendance has been high.
This week many people visited, and I did not update. I felt bad that I offered nothing new. It's not that I haven't had plenty of stuff I could have written! I want to share a quote about such a topic. It is by my favorite author John Steinbeck.
"I wonder about people who say they haven't time to think. For myself, I can double think. I find that (nothing) prevents a second and continuing layer of thinking, wondering, conjecturing... Surely this must be true of everyone. Maybe not having time to think is not having the wish to think."
Sometimes my entries are nothing more than me thinking "outloud" as I type. This is why there are grammar errors, and sometimes statements that would have better not published. At other times, I am quite proud of how well I manage to represent my abstract thoughts into words. What do you think?
At the site that maintains my counter, I can view how many people visit my blog. I also can tell at what time of day, and from which time zone worldwide they viewed my page from. I cannot tell who is viewing it, or for what reason (obviously). All I know is that the greatest percentage of my readers are in my own time zone, with Japan second, then the Singapore region and England/West Africa tied. I seemed to even have a "hit" from South America!
Please feel free to come. If you do not, I will still write, but I hope that my irregular ramblings about life and its twists and turns may strike a chord with you. Perhaps even you want to share with me how much you agree or disagree with me?
My page is about trying to find answers for a few questions; who am I, what is love, is there a God, how does the universe work, and how does all of this relate to me? I think these are core questions in the human experience. I hope that my blog is interesting to some of you! Good night, and see you soon!
I installed a site counter on my blog spot a few weeks ago. It is sort of silly, because I started this thing as a diary, and did not care if anyone read it or not. But then I became curious, are people reading it? I should not let it matter, but I find myself trying harder to write better entries when attendance has been high.
This week many people visited, and I did not update. I felt bad that I offered nothing new. It's not that I haven't had plenty of stuff I could have written! I want to share a quote about such a topic. It is by my favorite author John Steinbeck.
"I wonder about people who say they haven't time to think. For myself, I can double think. I find that (nothing) prevents a second and continuing layer of thinking, wondering, conjecturing... Surely this must be true of everyone. Maybe not having time to think is not having the wish to think."
Sometimes my entries are nothing more than me thinking "outloud" as I type. This is why there are grammar errors, and sometimes statements that would have better not published. At other times, I am quite proud of how well I manage to represent my abstract thoughts into words. What do you think?
At the site that maintains my counter, I can view how many people visit my blog. I also can tell at what time of day, and from which time zone worldwide they viewed my page from. I cannot tell who is viewing it, or for what reason (obviously). All I know is that the greatest percentage of my readers are in my own time zone, with Japan second, then the Singapore region and England/West Africa tied. I seemed to even have a "hit" from South America!
Please feel free to come. If you do not, I will still write, but I hope that my irregular ramblings about life and its twists and turns may strike a chord with you. Perhaps even you want to share with me how much you agree or disagree with me?
My page is about trying to find answers for a few questions; who am I, what is love, is there a God, how does the universe work, and how does all of this relate to me? I think these are core questions in the human experience. I hope that my blog is interesting to some of you! Good night, and see you soon!
Friday, April 09, 2004
Selfish genes, souls, and why I want kids.
Boy, has it been a log time or what! I probably lost the few readers that I have! How have all of you been? Yesterday was the day that Creighton University reviewed my application. I will know next week if I am admitted or not. I am so excited and scared at the same time!
Also, I am in the market for a new teapot. I have shopped online for a nice kyushu for cheap. I found one on ebay that isn’t exactly what I want, but it is Noritake (a nice brand) and has Totoro painted on it. I can’t decide what to buy!
Also, I have been thinking a lot about children. I have always wanted kids, and it is fun to babysit my niece and nephew from time to time. But I was asking myself, why do I want kids at all? I am not so proud to think that my genes needs passed on for the benefit of the species. I also do not think that my accumulated wisdom will automaticly be imprinted onto my child. So why do I even want kids?
I come to realize that what I want is someone to love. I want my child to know that I care about them, and to help guide them from life. I don’t necessarily need them to be anything like me, as long as they find a path, find who they are, and find happiness. This leads me to an interesting question…
Why don’t I just adopt? There are plenty of children in the world who do not have a fair chance at a good life. Many are even unwanted. Why would I want to bring my own child into this world when so many are already here and suffering? It is a tough question, and one that speaks to biology itself.
You see, humans have an instinctual drive to survive and procreate. All animals obey these same two drives. If you buy a hard line genetic approach, life only exists, in its many forms, to pass on genes. Richard Dawkins calls this the theory of “the selfish gene.” This means the gene drives all biology, and does whatever in necessary to pass its copies on. From developing new innovations (wings, camouflage, etc.) to even leading evolution towards a mind that codifies such passing (marriage, conduct laws, etc.). As I said this is an extreme theory.
But it cannot be too far off. The Christian principle of the soul is not much different. In each theory, humans are vessels. We are here to act as vehicles for a soul/gene, and to ensure that a particular goal is met. In religion, it is to accept conditions that allow one to graduate to paradise. In genetics, we pass on fit copies of genes that will eventually try to make a monopoly in a give niche (speciation).
So why do I want kids? Is it to pass on my genes or to help cultivate a soul? I will have to side with religion on this one. My genes, however selfish, are not so unique that they need to be preserved for the future. Matter of fact, all of my good attributes (the things I am most proud of about myself) are intangibles. They are only slightly determined by genetics, and have more to do with free will, environment, and opportunity. These things cannot be passed along as genetic information. This is a lucky thing, or else all of those science fiction shows about cloning Adolf Hitler could be reality! : )
Where am I going with all of this? I like kids, and hope to have one/some of my own someday. I hope that I have the opportunity to adopt someday, and I hope that I myself can take care of my own “vehicle” before I try to steer another. See you later!
Also, I am in the market for a new teapot. I have shopped online for a nice kyushu for cheap. I found one on ebay that isn’t exactly what I want, but it is Noritake (a nice brand) and has Totoro painted on it. I can’t decide what to buy!
Also, I have been thinking a lot about children. I have always wanted kids, and it is fun to babysit my niece and nephew from time to time. But I was asking myself, why do I want kids at all? I am not so proud to think that my genes needs passed on for the benefit of the species. I also do not think that my accumulated wisdom will automaticly be imprinted onto my child. So why do I even want kids?
I come to realize that what I want is someone to love. I want my child to know that I care about them, and to help guide them from life. I don’t necessarily need them to be anything like me, as long as they find a path, find who they are, and find happiness. This leads me to an interesting question…
Why don’t I just adopt? There are plenty of children in the world who do not have a fair chance at a good life. Many are even unwanted. Why would I want to bring my own child into this world when so many are already here and suffering? It is a tough question, and one that speaks to biology itself.
You see, humans have an instinctual drive to survive and procreate. All animals obey these same two drives. If you buy a hard line genetic approach, life only exists, in its many forms, to pass on genes. Richard Dawkins calls this the theory of “the selfish gene.” This means the gene drives all biology, and does whatever in necessary to pass its copies on. From developing new innovations (wings, camouflage, etc.) to even leading evolution towards a mind that codifies such passing (marriage, conduct laws, etc.). As I said this is an extreme theory.
But it cannot be too far off. The Christian principle of the soul is not much different. In each theory, humans are vessels. We are here to act as vehicles for a soul/gene, and to ensure that a particular goal is met. In religion, it is to accept conditions that allow one to graduate to paradise. In genetics, we pass on fit copies of genes that will eventually try to make a monopoly in a give niche (speciation).
So why do I want kids? Is it to pass on my genes or to help cultivate a soul? I will have to side with religion on this one. My genes, however selfish, are not so unique that they need to be preserved for the future. Matter of fact, all of my good attributes (the things I am most proud of about myself) are intangibles. They are only slightly determined by genetics, and have more to do with free will, environment, and opportunity. These things cannot be passed along as genetic information. This is a lucky thing, or else all of those science fiction shows about cloning Adolf Hitler could be reality! : )
Where am I going with all of this? I like kids, and hope to have one/some of my own someday. I hope that I have the opportunity to adopt someday, and I hope that I myself can take care of my own “vehicle” before I try to steer another. See you later!
Sunday, April 04, 2004
A quick entry (for once)
I love spring! Haru o suki desu! I rode my bike for the first time this year. My first 10 mile ride. Boy am I sore! I am so out of condition. My rear end feels like someone kicked me one hundred times!
I am working hard to catch up on my emails. I have a physics test this week, and I know I may not be able to keep in touch as well. So please be patient with me!
One little thought... tonight at my church, I attended our yearly Easter musical. They eliminated a lot of the story of Jesus due to the Passion of Christ movie. They felt that the beating and cross-dragging had been burned very clearly into the minds of those who have seen the movie. I actually think this made the musical even better! They added some new scenes...
1) Jesus' baptism
2) the feeding of the 5000
Each of those two stories have a dear place in my heart when it comes to the Gospels. Jesus' baptism is special, because I find it interesting that our church wanted to emphasize it. Christian churches dwell endlessly on the need to be baptized as an symbol of obedience, symbolic cleansing, as well as a public declaration of faith. This is one of the few traditions our church has; baptism and communion. These two practices remind of other faiths worldwide that have ceremonies and traditions. Christianity is light on these things, but the two we have hold great significance to the church.
I always liked the feeding of the multitude for this reason: by the end of Jesus' ministry, he was stressed out and cranky. He became confrontational with his enemies, and even became mute in the face of accusations. But for a time, his ministry was happy, and full of compassion. He had no reason to feed those who came to hear him (it was their own poor planning that left them without food). Compared to what he was preaching, human hunger was of no importance, surely they could have fasted... but no, Jesus fed their need. I always liked that. Jesus could help them, so he did.
Anyway, have a nice week! I will be back in full LONG form soon. I apologize to those who have a hard time reading English... my long blogs must make it hard to enjoy reading my website! :( But I am glad you try!
I am working hard to catch up on my emails. I have a physics test this week, and I know I may not be able to keep in touch as well. So please be patient with me!
One little thought... tonight at my church, I attended our yearly Easter musical. They eliminated a lot of the story of Jesus due to the Passion of Christ movie. They felt that the beating and cross-dragging had been burned very clearly into the minds of those who have seen the movie. I actually think this made the musical even better! They added some new scenes...
1) Jesus' baptism
2) the feeding of the 5000
Each of those two stories have a dear place in my heart when it comes to the Gospels. Jesus' baptism is special, because I find it interesting that our church wanted to emphasize it. Christian churches dwell endlessly on the need to be baptized as an symbol of obedience, symbolic cleansing, as well as a public declaration of faith. This is one of the few traditions our church has; baptism and communion. These two practices remind of other faiths worldwide that have ceremonies and traditions. Christianity is light on these things, but the two we have hold great significance to the church.
I always liked the feeding of the multitude for this reason: by the end of Jesus' ministry, he was stressed out and cranky. He became confrontational with his enemies, and even became mute in the face of accusations. But for a time, his ministry was happy, and full of compassion. He had no reason to feed those who came to hear him (it was their own poor planning that left them without food). Compared to what he was preaching, human hunger was of no importance, surely they could have fasted... but no, Jesus fed their need. I always liked that. Jesus could help them, so he did.
Anyway, have a nice week! I will be back in full LONG form soon. I apologize to those who have a hard time reading English... my long blogs must make it hard to enjoy reading my website! :( But I am glad you try!
Friday, April 02, 2004
If We Started Over, What Would We Find? God?
Hello everyone! A nice end to a chaotic week. Chaos works for good and bad, as you can tell in my previous posts. I hope that things do become more organized and predictable soon! Anyway, I thought I'd talk a little more today about the notion of God.
Imagine this: suddenly the world is stricken with amnesia. For some reason, we remember how to speak and read (its my blog, so it doesn't need to make sense). Let's say for the sake of discussion, that there also some amount of destruction. This hinders travel, destroys many buildings, and lessens the number of functioning machinery. What would we do? We would all be starting over from scratch. Here are some scenarios that might happen...
1] You are spending time talking to someone of the opposite sex. Suddenly the amnesia hits, and you are looking at each other as strangers. Were you married? Lovers? Siblings? How would you feel about that someone? Would you know that person at all? Do you think you would have the same feelings resurface eventually?
2] You find your self in a library. The place is a mess, as it was nearly leveled by some unknown catastrophe. The books that were not consumed by fire, or buried in rubble are strewn about with no order. What is fiction and what is nonfiction? If it is not labeled as such, what do you believe? You have nothing to go on but gut instinct. Which works do you take to heart?
3] A rumor begins to spread about what happened. Someone claims they had a recovered memory. Do they? Urban legends and myths arise. Some say that the answer is in books they have found. Can those be trusted? Were they falsified? What is lies and what is truth?
4] You begin to have haunting dreams. These images sometimes flash through your mind in waking hours. Places begin to look familiar from time to time. Certain people make you feel odd just by looking at them. A wafting smell freezes you in your tracks. Are these phantoms of your past life? Are these fictional fabrications of a mind that is suddenly trying to make sense of the world? Can your own perception be trusted?
This was inspired by an anime/manga series called The Big O. This is the sort of setting the fictional characters are stuck in. But I have taken it in a different direction. This is sort of how our personal search for truth goes in life. It is absurd that any one person can ever claim to have figured anything out, when there are so many possible explanations of how something can be. How do we ascribe authority to anything... feelings, faith, or sense of self?
I have thought about this a lot. God is a giant question mark that looms forever over my head. My heart wants to cling to Him blindly, as I have done in my past. But as I grow older, and learn more about the universe around me, more and more questions arise. Christians would say that this is why the Old Testament warns against the wisdom of man. It is intellectual pride, and it fools one into thinking he knows something. The only knowledge is the knowledge of God, or so say these men.
But I cannot agree with that. It is too mystic and superstitious. My life began suddenly, without my desire to be alive, and without any memory of what came before. In my 30 years here, I have tried to scrape together memories and relationships that help me understand my place in this world. Always along with my questions is God. Who is this God, does he exist, and what does it matter to me?
So applying our scenario to your life, what have you concluded so far? Some people foolishly claim to have solved these riddles. Have you? Or have you become comfortable with a perception that anchors your life? Its worth a thought. As Pilate did, we should ask the tough question "what is truth?" And also like Pilate, we should not expect an answer. What does God's silence on this matter mean?
In the coming days, if you feel introspective and meditative, think about my scenario above (ok, Big O's scenario). What sort of realizations can you make about your own life? Have you been fooling yourself into security? Maybe you are like me, and find yourself exploring a raging sea, with troughs and peaks.
Here are some hard realizations I have made.
1] I feel pretty confident in my relationships, because I have so few. I honestly love the people that I love. It isn't usually tied to any particular factor, I just have a handful of people I intensely treasure. There is another tier below that I wish I could love more. Below that are the people I wish good things for, and below that are the people I see as snares in my life.
Here are some hard admissions: I would love my brother just the same, I don't think I would remarry my wife (this is a tough subject, and it is hard to express without sounding cold... I love her dearly, but that may need to be explained at a later date), there are two people I would have stayed in better correspondence with, I do not regret purposefully avoiding those who I have done so, and I can think of at least five people (that I am only marginally acquainted with) that I would throw every ounce of energy into convincing we were the best of friends before the amnesia.
This sort of paints a picture that my world right now is not where I would like it. But life happens the way it does, we chose some paths and avoid others, and we have to learn to enjoy our journey as it happens to us. I will not get another chance at life, and I get very depressed at this at times, but in reality I should be liberated by it. This is my one life, I need to make the most of it. So do you.
2&3] I would tend to believe rumors and books that can be proven visibly, experimentally, or collaboratively. I think I practice this pretty well right now. I still cling to a few superstitions, but for the most part I have outgrown the need for myth. If God is real, he will manifest himself as such. If he is completely separate and hidden from us, then does it even matter if we acknowledge him at all? I have a cautious faith, and one that I am constantly challenging. Each challenge strengthens what remains. It has made me a sturdy person, but also at odds with those who accept religion blindly. I can imagine many would still flock to churches to sing praises to the unknown. Maybe Christianity would lose its seat of power in America. How would that effect the nation if people suddenly were thrust into the role of moral minority. Would you have your same faith if the USA was a Muslim nation? Maybe Buddhism would find itself in high favor. I think my faith is my own, as flawed as it is... and that is something I take pride in.
4] I have a hard time trusting perceptions. The human animal is not perfectly designed. We are prone to misunderstanding and misperception. This will be a topic on its own in the near future, so I will not discuss it too much here.
Whew! There you go! I just wanted to give you a mental exercise. I would be curious to hear what you think. Feel free to email me with your own ideas.
Until next time, jaa mata!
Imagine this: suddenly the world is stricken with amnesia. For some reason, we remember how to speak and read (its my blog, so it doesn't need to make sense). Let's say for the sake of discussion, that there also some amount of destruction. This hinders travel, destroys many buildings, and lessens the number of functioning machinery. What would we do? We would all be starting over from scratch. Here are some scenarios that might happen...
1] You are spending time talking to someone of the opposite sex. Suddenly the amnesia hits, and you are looking at each other as strangers. Were you married? Lovers? Siblings? How would you feel about that someone? Would you know that person at all? Do you think you would have the same feelings resurface eventually?
2] You find your self in a library. The place is a mess, as it was nearly leveled by some unknown catastrophe. The books that were not consumed by fire, or buried in rubble are strewn about with no order. What is fiction and what is nonfiction? If it is not labeled as such, what do you believe? You have nothing to go on but gut instinct. Which works do you take to heart?
3] A rumor begins to spread about what happened. Someone claims they had a recovered memory. Do they? Urban legends and myths arise. Some say that the answer is in books they have found. Can those be trusted? Were they falsified? What is lies and what is truth?
4] You begin to have haunting dreams. These images sometimes flash through your mind in waking hours. Places begin to look familiar from time to time. Certain people make you feel odd just by looking at them. A wafting smell freezes you in your tracks. Are these phantoms of your past life? Are these fictional fabrications of a mind that is suddenly trying to make sense of the world? Can your own perception be trusted?
This was inspired by an anime/manga series called The Big O. This is the sort of setting the fictional characters are stuck in. But I have taken it in a different direction. This is sort of how our personal search for truth goes in life. It is absurd that any one person can ever claim to have figured anything out, when there are so many possible explanations of how something can be. How do we ascribe authority to anything... feelings, faith, or sense of self?
I have thought about this a lot. God is a giant question mark that looms forever over my head. My heart wants to cling to Him blindly, as I have done in my past. But as I grow older, and learn more about the universe around me, more and more questions arise. Christians would say that this is why the Old Testament warns against the wisdom of man. It is intellectual pride, and it fools one into thinking he knows something. The only knowledge is the knowledge of God, or so say these men.
But I cannot agree with that. It is too mystic and superstitious. My life began suddenly, without my desire to be alive, and without any memory of what came before. In my 30 years here, I have tried to scrape together memories and relationships that help me understand my place in this world. Always along with my questions is God. Who is this God, does he exist, and what does it matter to me?
So applying our scenario to your life, what have you concluded so far? Some people foolishly claim to have solved these riddles. Have you? Or have you become comfortable with a perception that anchors your life? Its worth a thought. As Pilate did, we should ask the tough question "what is truth?" And also like Pilate, we should not expect an answer. What does God's silence on this matter mean?
In the coming days, if you feel introspective and meditative, think about my scenario above (ok, Big O's scenario). What sort of realizations can you make about your own life? Have you been fooling yourself into security? Maybe you are like me, and find yourself exploring a raging sea, with troughs and peaks.
Here are some hard realizations I have made.
1] I feel pretty confident in my relationships, because I have so few. I honestly love the people that I love. It isn't usually tied to any particular factor, I just have a handful of people I intensely treasure. There is another tier below that I wish I could love more. Below that are the people I wish good things for, and below that are the people I see as snares in my life.
Here are some hard admissions: I would love my brother just the same, I don't think I would remarry my wife (this is a tough subject, and it is hard to express without sounding cold... I love her dearly, but that may need to be explained at a later date), there are two people I would have stayed in better correspondence with, I do not regret purposefully avoiding those who I have done so, and I can think of at least five people (that I am only marginally acquainted with) that I would throw every ounce of energy into convincing we were the best of friends before the amnesia.
This sort of paints a picture that my world right now is not where I would like it. But life happens the way it does, we chose some paths and avoid others, and we have to learn to enjoy our journey as it happens to us. I will not get another chance at life, and I get very depressed at this at times, but in reality I should be liberated by it. This is my one life, I need to make the most of it. So do you.
2&3] I would tend to believe rumors and books that can be proven visibly, experimentally, or collaboratively. I think I practice this pretty well right now. I still cling to a few superstitions, but for the most part I have outgrown the need for myth. If God is real, he will manifest himself as such. If he is completely separate and hidden from us, then does it even matter if we acknowledge him at all? I have a cautious faith, and one that I am constantly challenging. Each challenge strengthens what remains. It has made me a sturdy person, but also at odds with those who accept religion blindly. I can imagine many would still flock to churches to sing praises to the unknown. Maybe Christianity would lose its seat of power in America. How would that effect the nation if people suddenly were thrust into the role of moral minority. Would you have your same faith if the USA was a Muslim nation? Maybe Buddhism would find itself in high favor. I think my faith is my own, as flawed as it is... and that is something I take pride in.
4] I have a hard time trusting perceptions. The human animal is not perfectly designed. We are prone to misunderstanding and misperception. This will be a topic on its own in the near future, so I will not discuss it too much here.
Whew! There you go! I just wanted to give you a mental exercise. I would be curious to hear what you think. Feel free to email me with your own ideas.
Until next time, jaa mata!
Thursday, April 01, 2004
A Lou Reed kind of day...
Boy did I have a great day. I have been listening to a new Lou Reed 3 CD set this week, so I have tried to tie all of my events today to his music. For those of you who don't know, Lou Reed was (and is) a rock and roll legend in the USA. His most popular song is "walk on the wild side." He was part of a very influential band called the Velvet Underground (late 1960's-early 1970's), then went solo. He is just one of many 1970's musicians that I obsess over daily (the Doors, Iggy Pop and the Stooges, Steely Dan, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, Ramones, the Police, New York Dolls, Talking Heads, Prince, T.Rex, Bad Brains, and David Bowie).
Perfect Day: Well, maybe not perfect. It was the best day I have had in a long time. My meeting went well at Creighton, and I got to spend some time with friends.
Satellite of Love: My friends came through in a big way today. First of all, Maki-san sent me yet another PERFECT picture of sakura (cherry blossoms). Beautiful! She has a real talent for photography. So I now have yet another new wallpaper, and am still jealous that I am not in Japan. Then my friends at Creighton (Sara and Phuong) let me hang out with them. We went to class, ate lunch, and talked. I haven't had a day like that in a long time. It was nice to be around friends, and it is going to make every day after seem even more lonely! Both of those two are fantastic people, and I wish I could spend more time with them. Everyone was showing me love and kindness today!
Heroin: Or similar drugs anyway. In the class I sat in on, the lecture was about opioids and agonist/receptor sites. I knew a little about what he was talking about, but most of the med-chem was over my head. I took notes, and I am anxious to have high level science classes again!
Transformer: Boy, did I go through a range of emotions today. My first meeting with the admissions office went very well. Ms. Bensman agreed to represent my file for review, and she made it sound as if I had a good chance of getting in. All we have to do is hope they ignore my grades from Bible college, and I am in. My other criteria are well above expectations (My GPA is 3.6, and I scored in the 99th percentile on the PCAT). In one day I transformed from depressed and crushed, to hopeful and excited. Cross your fingers, everyone!
I'm Waiting for the Man: I spent 40 minutes waiting in an office to talk to Dr. Nipper, but it was well worth it. He is a Doctor of toxicology, and also serves as the chairman of admissions for the medical college. We discussed my predicament, and he said I have a strong application. He told me I have a good chance, and not to give up even if I don't get in this year. He also said that maybe I would be a good candidate for Med School... that was an option I had not even considered. Me, a physician? I still hope for admission to pharmacy school, but I am not accepted, next year I may apply also to med school. Dr. Carl Smith... I like the sound of that! (a side note: I will earn my PharmD if I get into pharmacy school, which will also make me a Doctor, but you understand what I mean).
What Becomes Legend Most?: I read quite a bit today as I waited for meetings, and I found out some interesting things about the fates of human societies around the world. The questions that the book Guns, Germs, and Steel asks is "why do some countries find so much prosperity, and others seemed doom to submission or extinction?" It is amazing that so much of history has to do with things out of our control. This is called circumscription, and I think it even effects us each on a individual level. More on that in future blogs.
I Can't Stand It: I forgot to let my boss know I wasn't going to be at work this morning. I had so much on my mind! I meant to leave a note yesterday. I did tell several of the pharmacists. I did not remember that I had forgotten until 4 PM (my shift today was only 8 am - 11 am). I hope that he is not too mad! He did not call, so I assume he realized where I was. He knew I had meetings this week. Still, I can;t stand feeling so irresponsible!
Rock and Roll Animal: I bought my brother Mark a new CD today. It was a collection of Richard Hell's rare tracks, and some live stuff. We buy each other presents all the time... but mostly because we know we can borrow items from each other later! It is like we have one giant CD, book, and DVD collection. :) Mark and I watched most of a new DVD today that blew my mind. It was a live concert by Iggy Pop, the Asheton brothers, and Mike Watt. It was a Stooges reunion concert (except Mike Watt, who was from another of my all time favorites, the Minutemen). They played every great song from the Stooges first two albums, and a new song called "skull ring." Iggy Pop owns the stage! Lou Reed may have coined the term, but Iggy is the TRUE rock and roll animal.
All Tomorrow's Parties: I am so anxious for the coming weeks. Next Thursday my file gets reviewed, and on the next week I should know if I got in. I hope my daruma will finally grant me luck! Oh, and I am sure the prayers are helping also! Thanks everyone for support.
Goodnight, Ladies: Good night! I am so happy! I had a great day, and it was much needed. I feel alive again, and full of hope. See you on my next blog! Oh, and I will try to catch up on email soon!
Perfect Day: Well, maybe not perfect. It was the best day I have had in a long time. My meeting went well at Creighton, and I got to spend some time with friends.
Satellite of Love: My friends came through in a big way today. First of all, Maki-san sent me yet another PERFECT picture of sakura (cherry blossoms). Beautiful! She has a real talent for photography. So I now have yet another new wallpaper, and am still jealous that I am not in Japan. Then my friends at Creighton (Sara and Phuong) let me hang out with them. We went to class, ate lunch, and talked. I haven't had a day like that in a long time. It was nice to be around friends, and it is going to make every day after seem even more lonely! Both of those two are fantastic people, and I wish I could spend more time with them. Everyone was showing me love and kindness today!
Heroin: Or similar drugs anyway. In the class I sat in on, the lecture was about opioids and agonist/receptor sites. I knew a little about what he was talking about, but most of the med-chem was over my head. I took notes, and I am anxious to have high level science classes again!
Transformer: Boy, did I go through a range of emotions today. My first meeting with the admissions office went very well. Ms. Bensman agreed to represent my file for review, and she made it sound as if I had a good chance of getting in. All we have to do is hope they ignore my grades from Bible college, and I am in. My other criteria are well above expectations (My GPA is 3.6, and I scored in the 99th percentile on the PCAT). In one day I transformed from depressed and crushed, to hopeful and excited. Cross your fingers, everyone!
I'm Waiting for the Man: I spent 40 minutes waiting in an office to talk to Dr. Nipper, but it was well worth it. He is a Doctor of toxicology, and also serves as the chairman of admissions for the medical college. We discussed my predicament, and he said I have a strong application. He told me I have a good chance, and not to give up even if I don't get in this year. He also said that maybe I would be a good candidate for Med School... that was an option I had not even considered. Me, a physician? I still hope for admission to pharmacy school, but I am not accepted, next year I may apply also to med school. Dr. Carl Smith... I like the sound of that! (a side note: I will earn my PharmD if I get into pharmacy school, which will also make me a Doctor, but you understand what I mean).
What Becomes Legend Most?: I read quite a bit today as I waited for meetings, and I found out some interesting things about the fates of human societies around the world. The questions that the book Guns, Germs, and Steel asks is "why do some countries find so much prosperity, and others seemed doom to submission or extinction?" It is amazing that so much of history has to do with things out of our control. This is called circumscription, and I think it even effects us each on a individual level. More on that in future blogs.
I Can't Stand It: I forgot to let my boss know I wasn't going to be at work this morning. I had so much on my mind! I meant to leave a note yesterday. I did tell several of the pharmacists. I did not remember that I had forgotten until 4 PM (my shift today was only 8 am - 11 am). I hope that he is not too mad! He did not call, so I assume he realized where I was. He knew I had meetings this week. Still, I can;t stand feeling so irresponsible!
Rock and Roll Animal: I bought my brother Mark a new CD today. It was a collection of Richard Hell's rare tracks, and some live stuff. We buy each other presents all the time... but mostly because we know we can borrow items from each other later! It is like we have one giant CD, book, and DVD collection. :) Mark and I watched most of a new DVD today that blew my mind. It was a live concert by Iggy Pop, the Asheton brothers, and Mike Watt. It was a Stooges reunion concert (except Mike Watt, who was from another of my all time favorites, the Minutemen). They played every great song from the Stooges first two albums, and a new song called "skull ring." Iggy Pop owns the stage! Lou Reed may have coined the term, but Iggy is the TRUE rock and roll animal.
All Tomorrow's Parties: I am so anxious for the coming weeks. Next Thursday my file gets reviewed, and on the next week I should know if I got in. I hope my daruma will finally grant me luck! Oh, and I am sure the prayers are helping also! Thanks everyone for support.
Goodnight, Ladies: Good night! I am so happy! I had a great day, and it was much needed. I feel alive again, and full of hope. See you on my next blog! Oh, and I will try to catch up on email soon!