Friday, May 28, 2004
See, a new feature of my blog is unveiled just minutes after I announced my vacation. I will be adding pictures off and on to my blog posts. This is a beautiful butterfly I photographed at the Buuterfly Pavillion in Broomfield, Colorado a month ago. Isn't nature inspiring? Even insects remind you that life isn't always so bad...
50 posts later, and I need a short break! : )
Hey everyone. Thanks for sticking with my blog, even though it is a bit schitzophrenic. This is the 50th post, and just shy of 500 total hits (well over 500 page views however).
I have so much to write about; a few comments about the overrated power of eyewitness accounts, a complaint about Christianity, the whole game our government is playing with terror alert levels, the way we communicate our emotions so cryptically, my renewed (and never before realized) love for golf, my fascination with punk rock, and the fact that I am perhaps the last person I want to be on this earth.
But the truth is, I am going to take the holiday weekend off, as well as the majority of next week. I hope that I do not lose any of you, because I have a very nice little "fan" base going here. I just need a little break from the internet (blog, email, IM, etc), and need to spend some time in meditation and soul searching for a change. And maybe some exercising... God knows I need plenty of that.
Loyal readers know that I am usually a wreck... I struggle with a lot of things that I try to keep a good sense of humor about. I struggle with my fixation on material goods, my lack of community service, matters of my heart, my faith, and a debt (albeit relatively small) that is forever looming over my head. I need to do some shuffling and sorting out, so this holiday weekend is a good time to do so.
I'm not saying to stop checking in completely... I may have a couple surprises in the next seven days, and if I get bored (or cheer up a little), I will need to blog!
So, I will see you around, and let's make a date for Thursday of next week as day one of operations resuming here at the old Bubblegoose. Forgive me if you don't catch me online, writing email, or updating here before then.
See ya next Thursday (or sooner... you all know I am wishy washy)
I have so much to write about; a few comments about the overrated power of eyewitness accounts, a complaint about Christianity, the whole game our government is playing with terror alert levels, the way we communicate our emotions so cryptically, my renewed (and never before realized) love for golf, my fascination with punk rock, and the fact that I am perhaps the last person I want to be on this earth.
But the truth is, I am going to take the holiday weekend off, as well as the majority of next week. I hope that I do not lose any of you, because I have a very nice little "fan" base going here. I just need a little break from the internet (blog, email, IM, etc), and need to spend some time in meditation and soul searching for a change. And maybe some exercising... God knows I need plenty of that.
Loyal readers know that I am usually a wreck... I struggle with a lot of things that I try to keep a good sense of humor about. I struggle with my fixation on material goods, my lack of community service, matters of my heart, my faith, and a debt (albeit relatively small) that is forever looming over my head. I need to do some shuffling and sorting out, so this holiday weekend is a good time to do so.
I'm not saying to stop checking in completely... I may have a couple surprises in the next seven days, and if I get bored (or cheer up a little), I will need to blog!
So, I will see you around, and let's make a date for Thursday of next week as day one of operations resuming here at the old Bubblegoose. Forgive me if you don't catch me online, writing email, or updating here before then.
See ya next Thursday (or sooner... you all know I am wishy washy)
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Hy Vee Love
Here in Iowa there is a chain of supermarkets called Hy Vee. It has sort of an interesting connection to my life.
1) It is the closest supermarket to my apartment
2) It's headquarters are in Chariton, Iowa... the home of my first romantic letter-writing girlfriend (in high school), Jodi Tyree
3) It's the chain of stores that NFL QB Kurt Warner once worked in before his return to the Rams.
4) My friend Adrienne works at a Hy Vee, and has for several years... so I tease her about the silly jingle they use on the TV commercials ("Where there's a helpful smile in every aisle"). Another co-worker of mine, Ashley, has also worked at Hy Vee at one time.
5) Other than Sterling and Denver (both Colorado), there has always been a Hy Vee near by my home. Even in college.
6) Hy Vee was the supermarket that I first learned about the consequences of shoplifting as a child, when I stole trading cards, and was followed out of the store, and apprehended by a scary Hy Vee employee. It made a huge impression on me.
Today at Hy Vee, I saw a great thing. Two older men saw each other by the produce section. One asked "Are you (so and so)" and they soon were hugging. They were old high school classmates, and were seeing each other for the first time in many years.
Many of us wouldn't picture a supermarket as the backdrop for our tender moments. But that just goes to show you how unexpected these things happen. The truth of the matter is that we spend a lot of time in supermarkets, no matter what our economic level or profession. Therefore, you are bound to experience something significant at a supermarket in your life time.
Supermarkets are a great place to meet people. Hy Vee has cafeteria, where many "regulars" gather to eat and talk. I often enjoy going there with my father for breakfast. The food isn't good, but it is a nice, comfortable spot to spend some quality time together (which rarely happens).
I myself have run into countless schoolmates at Hy Vee. And I don't even shop very often! : ) I have ever heard stories of people meeting eventual girlfriends/wives at the supermarket.
Supermarkets are also great places to learn about responsibility. For many Americans, a grocery store is the first job you hold. You learn to be polite, be prompt, be busy, and most of all, the value of money.
Supermarkets are an important feature of midwest living, for we spend much of our time and money at them. It becomes a social center, as well as a learning facility. We all too often forget that much of our lives are influenced by something so "boring" as supermarkets. But I wonder, how many of you have a good supermarket story? So in the coming weeks, appreciate your local supermarket, as it is just another brick in the foundation of your life.
See ya!
1) It is the closest supermarket to my apartment
2) It's headquarters are in Chariton, Iowa... the home of my first romantic letter-writing girlfriend (in high school), Jodi Tyree
3) It's the chain of stores that NFL QB Kurt Warner once worked in before his return to the Rams.
4) My friend Adrienne works at a Hy Vee, and has for several years... so I tease her about the silly jingle they use on the TV commercials ("Where there's a helpful smile in every aisle"). Another co-worker of mine, Ashley, has also worked at Hy Vee at one time.
5) Other than Sterling and Denver (both Colorado), there has always been a Hy Vee near by my home. Even in college.
6) Hy Vee was the supermarket that I first learned about the consequences of shoplifting as a child, when I stole trading cards, and was followed out of the store, and apprehended by a scary Hy Vee employee. It made a huge impression on me.
Today at Hy Vee, I saw a great thing. Two older men saw each other by the produce section. One asked "Are you (so and so)" and they soon were hugging. They were old high school classmates, and were seeing each other for the first time in many years.
Many of us wouldn't picture a supermarket as the backdrop for our tender moments. But that just goes to show you how unexpected these things happen. The truth of the matter is that we spend a lot of time in supermarkets, no matter what our economic level or profession. Therefore, you are bound to experience something significant at a supermarket in your life time.
Supermarkets are a great place to meet people. Hy Vee has cafeteria, where many "regulars" gather to eat and talk. I often enjoy going there with my father for breakfast. The food isn't good, but it is a nice, comfortable spot to spend some quality time together (which rarely happens).
I myself have run into countless schoolmates at Hy Vee. And I don't even shop very often! : ) I have ever heard stories of people meeting eventual girlfriends/wives at the supermarket.
Supermarkets are also great places to learn about responsibility. For many Americans, a grocery store is the first job you hold. You learn to be polite, be prompt, be busy, and most of all, the value of money.
Supermarkets are an important feature of midwest living, for we spend much of our time and money at them. It becomes a social center, as well as a learning facility. We all too often forget that much of our lives are influenced by something so "boring" as supermarkets. But I wonder, how many of you have a good supermarket story? So in the coming weeks, appreciate your local supermarket, as it is just another brick in the foundation of your life.
See ya!
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
I'm Like A Song Called Like A Song
Hey everyone. As I was preparing to make a second round of mix-CD's for a couple of friends of mine, I came across a wealth of music I had ignored for a long time. Lately I have been focusing on a handful of CD's, forgetting entirely of the music that had got me through many tough times in the past. I found old copies of King's X, Galactic Cowboys, Trip Shakespeare, and a lot of other bands I had either purposely buried or had forgotten existed.
One of the greatest finds was my copy of U2's "War." What a great album that was! I remember staying up late on a Friday night to watch them play "live" at Red Rocks, during the early days of MTV. I thought Bono was some sort of warrior-priest back then. But my infactuation with Bono soon faded in favor of 80's punk rock and new wave.
It wasn't until college when I met my friend Nate that I was reintroduced to U2. It was hard for me to believe that "Achtung Baby" was the same band from "War." It was still interesting and original music with soul, but it was no longer as spiritually and politically charged.
One of my favorite songs from the "War" era U2 is one called "Like A Song." It has very powerful, convicting lyrics and I want to share those with you here. I am not sure if the song will make the mix CD's or not... Bono's voice on the track is a little gruff for a friendly CD. But the words say a lot about my personal thoughts, even yet today. Enjoy!
Like A Song by U2
Like a song I have to sing,
I sing it for you.
Like the words I have to bring,
I bring them for you.
And in leather, lace and chains,
We stake our claim,
Revolution once again.
But I won't,
I won't wear it on my sleeve.
I can see through this expression
And you know I don't believe.
I'm too old to be told...
Exactly who are you?
Tonight; tomorrow's too late.
And we love to wear a badge, a uniform,
And we love to fly a flag.
But I won't
let others live in hell,
As we divide against each other,
And we fight amongst ourselves.
Too set in out ways to try to rearrange.
Too right to be wrong, in this rebel song.
Let the bells ring out, is there nothing left?
Is honesty what you want?
A generation without name, ripped and torn,
Nothing to lose, nothing to gain,
Nothing at all.
And if you can't help yourself,
Well take a look around you
When others need your time.
You say it's time to go
it's your time.
Angry words won't stop the fight.
Two wrongs won't make it right.
A new heart is what I need,
Oh God, make it bleed,
Is there nothing left?
See ya!
One of the greatest finds was my copy of U2's "War." What a great album that was! I remember staying up late on a Friday night to watch them play "live" at Red Rocks, during the early days of MTV. I thought Bono was some sort of warrior-priest back then. But my infactuation with Bono soon faded in favor of 80's punk rock and new wave.
It wasn't until college when I met my friend Nate that I was reintroduced to U2. It was hard for me to believe that "Achtung Baby" was the same band from "War." It was still interesting and original music with soul, but it was no longer as spiritually and politically charged.
One of my favorite songs from the "War" era U2 is one called "Like A Song." It has very powerful, convicting lyrics and I want to share those with you here. I am not sure if the song will make the mix CD's or not... Bono's voice on the track is a little gruff for a friendly CD. But the words say a lot about my personal thoughts, even yet today. Enjoy!
Like A Song by U2
Like a song I have to sing,
I sing it for you.
Like the words I have to bring,
I bring them for you.
And in leather, lace and chains,
We stake our claim,
Revolution once again.
But I won't,
I won't wear it on my sleeve.
I can see through this expression
And you know I don't believe.
I'm too old to be told...
Exactly who are you?
Tonight; tomorrow's too late.
And we love to wear a badge, a uniform,
And we love to fly a flag.
But I won't
let others live in hell,
As we divide against each other,
And we fight amongst ourselves.
Too set in out ways to try to rearrange.
Too right to be wrong, in this rebel song.
Let the bells ring out, is there nothing left?
Is honesty what you want?
A generation without name, ripped and torn,
Nothing to lose, nothing to gain,
Nothing at all.
And if you can't help yourself,
Well take a look around you
When others need your time.
You say it's time to go
it's your time.
Angry words won't stop the fight.
Two wrongs won't make it right.
A new heart is what I need,
Oh God, make it bleed,
Is there nothing left?
See ya!
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Maybe Lennon was right.
After listening to the Sunday morning political talk shows, seeing all of the politicians taking stabs at each other, and campaigning when they were supposed to be giving college commencement addresses, I decided that there is already enough hate in the world, so I want to blog about love.
We all feel love. Love for our family, friends, and special people that we may or may not be able to tell. But what if we were to all come clean with our true feelings for one another? What if you could lose your shyness and spill your guts? If you were going to tell someone that you love them, what sorts of things would go through your mind?
1) You'd need to be sure of your feelings first. The word "love" although trivialized in much of our speech, still holds a lot of power behind it. Even though I may say that I love my Playstation, or love Root Beer, I may not be so comfortable telling my brother I love him, let alone a woman! The last thing you want is for your feelings to be misunderstood or unwanted.
2) You'd need to define what sort of love you were talking about. Is it brotherly love, neighborly love, erotic love... the list goes on. Love carries so many connotations, and if you just say "I love you," you are leaving the definition up to the hearer... and that could lead to some crazy assumptions. You may scare a poor girl into getting a restraining order, or may find yourself only communicating your feelings of friendship. It's a loaded word. You need to be prepared to express what kind of love.
3) You'd better be sure of the consequences. Getting the nerve up to express your love in words is one thing, but dealing with the aftermath is another. Are you ready for the relationship to change? Will it hurt or help your life? These sort of things probably hold back a lot of sharing between us humans. We are scared that change will ruin our friendships. Even the strongest relationships can be pretty fragile when the l-o-v-e word comes up for the first time. It is a shame, but that is life.
4) Be ready for it not to reciprocate. People tend to follow "I love you" with "I love you too." It is reflexive, and it takes some of the sting out those three little words. But what if you say it, and you get a blank look. Or a smile. Or a simple "thanks." Or worse yet, a "what?" Love can be very one sided. The heart attaches to people in unexplainable ways, and there is no guarantee that the person you are targeting with affection even knows you exists, or even likes you. I knew a guy in college that told me he told his father that he loved him, and his dad said "knock it off."
5) Be prepared to prove it. As hard as it is to express verbally that you love someone, it is even harder to live as if you mean it. Soon the fun swirl of emotion ends and you have to face tough issues. What happens when there is an argument, or people start to grow apart. What if one person is wronged by the other? Do you cut your losses and eject from the relationship, or do you stay and fight it out?
Loving someone takes a lot of energy, and can be very frustrating. Jesus himself, the icon of love, grew frustrated on a few accounts when his love for others was going through tough times. He expressed this frustration when in John 6. He had just finished a message that was hard for people to understand, because they all had preconceived notions of what Jesus was here to do. They began to turn and leave, and he asked his disciples "Do you not want to leave too?" Again, later in his life, he found his closest friends falling asleep while he prayed in agony over his coming crucifixion. He chided his loved ones for not even being able to stay awake to give him moral support.
Then comes the problem of finding the right way to say it. Some people are desensitized to words, and need action. Some people may only need the simplest consideration and kindness to feel loved. Others long to hear it said. As you can see, it isn't just a matter of seeing someone you care for and saying "hey, I love you." But yet, it is.
In the end, I honestly believe that we live by a very ignorant social code that prevents us from expressing our true feelings to others. We feel as if this expression of truth may expose us for hurt, or may create an environment that forces friendships to stop being superficial. We don't understand true intimacy, and most of us do not want it. I wish this was different.
I wish I could boldly tell people, face to face, what they mean to me. I try to do this, but I usually do so in writing. I have so few friends that I dare not do anything that may jeopardize a realtionship. I have a hard enough time just maintaining superficial friendships as it is, without the heart becoming involved.
Even when I am able to share a little of my feelings, I am not entirely forthright. I want to know that if I was to die tomorrow, which always is a possibility, that the people who mattered most to me know that they were in my heart. I haven't done this fully, and I don't know if I will be able to. There is an uneasiness in my soul because I have not yet shared everything I need to.
I mentioned earlier this week that my grandmother's death was traumatic to me. It was so in a very "inner" way. It tore me apart inside, but I never really shared it or showed it. I was only a teenager when it happened, and really hadn't discovered my heart yet. The older I grew, the more I pained that I never once was able to tell grandma how much I lvoed her, and how special she was to me. I'm sure she felt loved, but maybe had no idea how deep of a footprint she left in my life.
I'd hate to miss sharing with someone now that I understand the pain that silence brings. There are times when my pen is furiously carving out a letter of Shakespearian sonnet-like depth... but then it only ends up in the garbage can. I worry that there are a few people in my life that I haven't been able to connect with properly. There is so much fear and pain behind the act of sharing your innermost passion.
I would challenge everyone to search their hearts and see if there isn't at least one person that they need to approach. A lto fo us may have neglected telling our parents that we appreciate them. For others of us, it is our siblings. Maybe its a spouse, or a boyfriend. Maybe its a classmate or even a person who was just there for you at a key time. It could make a big difference, and may be the start of a beautiful, deep, meaningful relationship that you otherwise would have missed.
Caution: do not forget my warnings above either. You may end up hurt by your attempt. The American culture loves self expression, but still frowns on expression of love. This is especially true when it comes to family relationships, or male-male relationships. But isn't honesty and truthfulness of greater value than a little social taboo?
Meanwhile, across the world people are being snuffed out like candles. Bullets and explosives are tearing lives from our earth, and it isn't just the so-called "bad guys" who are doing the murdering. Disagreement and hate are resulting in very serious actions. I even fear that this climate of violent hate is soon coming to our own shores. The world is not a safe place anymore, and it is only a matter of time for we Americans before we see tragedy again.
Doesn't that place an urgency on our need to connect with others? The months after 9-11 surely caused some introspection, and people began to value the need for intimacy. But that faded. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we could just express true love for one another as easily as we find it to express disagreement?
See ya next time! Love ya! ;)
We all feel love. Love for our family, friends, and special people that we may or may not be able to tell. But what if we were to all come clean with our true feelings for one another? What if you could lose your shyness and spill your guts? If you were going to tell someone that you love them, what sorts of things would go through your mind?
1) You'd need to be sure of your feelings first. The word "love" although trivialized in much of our speech, still holds a lot of power behind it. Even though I may say that I love my Playstation, or love Root Beer, I may not be so comfortable telling my brother I love him, let alone a woman! The last thing you want is for your feelings to be misunderstood or unwanted.
2) You'd need to define what sort of love you were talking about. Is it brotherly love, neighborly love, erotic love... the list goes on. Love carries so many connotations, and if you just say "I love you," you are leaving the definition up to the hearer... and that could lead to some crazy assumptions. You may scare a poor girl into getting a restraining order, or may find yourself only communicating your feelings of friendship. It's a loaded word. You need to be prepared to express what kind of love.
3) You'd better be sure of the consequences. Getting the nerve up to express your love in words is one thing, but dealing with the aftermath is another. Are you ready for the relationship to change? Will it hurt or help your life? These sort of things probably hold back a lot of sharing between us humans. We are scared that change will ruin our friendships. Even the strongest relationships can be pretty fragile when the l-o-v-e word comes up for the first time. It is a shame, but that is life.
4) Be ready for it not to reciprocate. People tend to follow "I love you" with "I love you too." It is reflexive, and it takes some of the sting out those three little words. But what if you say it, and you get a blank look. Or a smile. Or a simple "thanks." Or worse yet, a "what?" Love can be very one sided. The heart attaches to people in unexplainable ways, and there is no guarantee that the person you are targeting with affection even knows you exists, or even likes you. I knew a guy in college that told me he told his father that he loved him, and his dad said "knock it off."
5) Be prepared to prove it. As hard as it is to express verbally that you love someone, it is even harder to live as if you mean it. Soon the fun swirl of emotion ends and you have to face tough issues. What happens when there is an argument, or people start to grow apart. What if one person is wronged by the other? Do you cut your losses and eject from the relationship, or do you stay and fight it out?
Loving someone takes a lot of energy, and can be very frustrating. Jesus himself, the icon of love, grew frustrated on a few accounts when his love for others was going through tough times. He expressed this frustration when in John 6. He had just finished a message that was hard for people to understand, because they all had preconceived notions of what Jesus was here to do. They began to turn and leave, and he asked his disciples "Do you not want to leave too?" Again, later in his life, he found his closest friends falling asleep while he prayed in agony over his coming crucifixion. He chided his loved ones for not even being able to stay awake to give him moral support.
Then comes the problem of finding the right way to say it. Some people are desensitized to words, and need action. Some people may only need the simplest consideration and kindness to feel loved. Others long to hear it said. As you can see, it isn't just a matter of seeing someone you care for and saying "hey, I love you." But yet, it is.
In the end, I honestly believe that we live by a very ignorant social code that prevents us from expressing our true feelings to others. We feel as if this expression of truth may expose us for hurt, or may create an environment that forces friendships to stop being superficial. We don't understand true intimacy, and most of us do not want it. I wish this was different.
I wish I could boldly tell people, face to face, what they mean to me. I try to do this, but I usually do so in writing. I have so few friends that I dare not do anything that may jeopardize a realtionship. I have a hard enough time just maintaining superficial friendships as it is, without the heart becoming involved.
Even when I am able to share a little of my feelings, I am not entirely forthright. I want to know that if I was to die tomorrow, which always is a possibility, that the people who mattered most to me know that they were in my heart. I haven't done this fully, and I don't know if I will be able to. There is an uneasiness in my soul because I have not yet shared everything I need to.
I mentioned earlier this week that my grandmother's death was traumatic to me. It was so in a very "inner" way. It tore me apart inside, but I never really shared it or showed it. I was only a teenager when it happened, and really hadn't discovered my heart yet. The older I grew, the more I pained that I never once was able to tell grandma how much I lvoed her, and how special she was to me. I'm sure she felt loved, but maybe had no idea how deep of a footprint she left in my life.
I'd hate to miss sharing with someone now that I understand the pain that silence brings. There are times when my pen is furiously carving out a letter of Shakespearian sonnet-like depth... but then it only ends up in the garbage can. I worry that there are a few people in my life that I haven't been able to connect with properly. There is so much fear and pain behind the act of sharing your innermost passion.
I would challenge everyone to search their hearts and see if there isn't at least one person that they need to approach. A lto fo us may have neglected telling our parents that we appreciate them. For others of us, it is our siblings. Maybe its a spouse, or a boyfriend. Maybe its a classmate or even a person who was just there for you at a key time. It could make a big difference, and may be the start of a beautiful, deep, meaningful relationship that you otherwise would have missed.
Caution: do not forget my warnings above either. You may end up hurt by your attempt. The American culture loves self expression, but still frowns on expression of love. This is especially true when it comes to family relationships, or male-male relationships. But isn't honesty and truthfulness of greater value than a little social taboo?
Meanwhile, across the world people are being snuffed out like candles. Bullets and explosives are tearing lives from our earth, and it isn't just the so-called "bad guys" who are doing the murdering. Disagreement and hate are resulting in very serious actions. I even fear that this climate of violent hate is soon coming to our own shores. The world is not a safe place anymore, and it is only a matter of time for we Americans before we see tragedy again.
Doesn't that place an urgency on our need to connect with others? The months after 9-11 surely caused some introspection, and people began to value the need for intimacy. But that faded. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we could just express true love for one another as easily as we find it to express disagreement?
See ya next time! Love ya! ;)
Friday, May 21, 2004
A quick recap of a nutty week.
Boy did I have an interesting week. It was full of highs and lows, anger and laughter, and a little bit of depression. At the end of the week looking back, I am exhausted by the events that took place.
The biggest piece of news is that on Tuesday, Creighton University revealed that they had chose me to remain on the alternate list for admission. This means that when a seat becomes available (through other students who choose not to accept enrollment), there is a good chance it will be offered to me! This is very exciting, and I have my hopes up… but I also am worried because it is a lot of unsure waiting.
On Wednesday, I took the opportunity to visit a site that is holy to me. It was an overcast day, and I was in Omaha anyway, so it was a good chance for me to make my pilgrimage. I visited the duplex where my grandmother used to live. I do this from time to time, just to remember her. The death of my grandmother was a horrible event in my life, and things haven’t been all that great since. I miss her very much. Anyway, it is always hard on me to visit, but I feel like visiting the place she used to live helps me remember good memories, where visiting her grave would only remind me of her death. Her name was Rose, and she was a fun grandmother to have.
Thursday was day full of intermittent bickering with my wife and a visit to the zoo in Omaha. The zoo was great. My favorite parts are always the monkeys and gorillas, and the huge aquarium. The zoo also has a beautiful garden that has, among hundreds of other plants, dozens of species of roses. It was a nice day to go to the zoo, and I did have fun. It was too bad that all of the arguing made it a chore to enjoy.
And to end the week, today I played racquetball for two hours with my friend Scott, and I am worn out! My body feels like I fell off a building. I hope to get the chance to play much more racquetball this summer. I also took some time to make a CD for another friend, and to run some financial errands.
I hope that my upcoming week is not so busy, and that I have more time to stop and write clever blogs. I also hope to do some more Japanese cooking next week. To close this entry, I want to list a few goals I have for the summer… maybe you can help me stick to them.
To stop drinking non-diet pop entirely.
To learn even more Japanese.
To exercise daily, even if it is only stretching and sit-ups.
To find some inner peace. : )
See ya!
The biggest piece of news is that on Tuesday, Creighton University revealed that they had chose me to remain on the alternate list for admission. This means that when a seat becomes available (through other students who choose not to accept enrollment), there is a good chance it will be offered to me! This is very exciting, and I have my hopes up… but I also am worried because it is a lot of unsure waiting.
On Wednesday, I took the opportunity to visit a site that is holy to me. It was an overcast day, and I was in Omaha anyway, so it was a good chance for me to make my pilgrimage. I visited the duplex where my grandmother used to live. I do this from time to time, just to remember her. The death of my grandmother was a horrible event in my life, and things haven’t been all that great since. I miss her very much. Anyway, it is always hard on me to visit, but I feel like visiting the place she used to live helps me remember good memories, where visiting her grave would only remind me of her death. Her name was Rose, and she was a fun grandmother to have.
Thursday was day full of intermittent bickering with my wife and a visit to the zoo in Omaha. The zoo was great. My favorite parts are always the monkeys and gorillas, and the huge aquarium. The zoo also has a beautiful garden that has, among hundreds of other plants, dozens of species of roses. It was a nice day to go to the zoo, and I did have fun. It was too bad that all of the arguing made it a chore to enjoy.
And to end the week, today I played racquetball for two hours with my friend Scott, and I am worn out! My body feels like I fell off a building. I hope to get the chance to play much more racquetball this summer. I also took some time to make a CD for another friend, and to run some financial errands.
I hope that my upcoming week is not so busy, and that I have more time to stop and write clever blogs. I also hope to do some more Japanese cooking next week. To close this entry, I want to list a few goals I have for the summer… maybe you can help me stick to them.
To stop drinking non-diet pop entirely.
To learn even more Japanese.
To exercise daily, even if it is only stretching and sit-ups.
To find some inner peace. : )
See ya!
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Homemade Rocket Enters Space, Overshadows Carl's Accomplishment
Boy was today a nice day. I received a letter from my friend Atsuko, who lives in Japan. She wrote me a short note entirely in Japanese, and I spent my morning at the coffee shop translating it. It was exciting for me to realize how much I have learned over the last year, as I was able to recognize characters and words, and basic sentence structure.
When I was all done, I still had some questions, but I was amazed that I was able to translate. I used dictionaries, but I was still proud of my accomplishment. It is really fulfilling to learn a new language, especially one that takes an entirely different set of characters, and in actuality takes a different though process than English.
I was very full of accomplishment, until I got home and read the news. It happened that a man from Minnesota (and a team of friends) launched a homemade rocket into space from a Nevada desert. Talk about eclipsing my accomplishment! : )
It was the first amateur rocket ever to enter space (which is over 62 miles above the desert floor), traveling at a speed of over 4000 miles per hour (which it reached in less than 10 seconds). It was his third attempt since 1995, and it was entirely amateur, from design to execution. He was understandably thrilled to have accomplished his life’s dream. “I just freaked out,” was his exact words.
Can you imagine? I mean, the action itself serves very little purpose. He has probably lost a lot of time and money pursuing his goal, and at times probably felt as if he’d never accomplish the task. Yet after today’s triumph, he has found something that many of us only dream of finding; fulfillment of his life’s desire.
So congrats to 65 year old Ky Michaelson for doing what so many of us struggle in vain to do. For the rest of us, lets continue to dream big, and work towards our heart’s goals. No matter how wasteful or counter-intuitive it seems, keep translating Japanese letters, painting those pictures, writing those books, and building those rockets.
See ya!
When I was all done, I still had some questions, but I was amazed that I was able to translate. I used dictionaries, but I was still proud of my accomplishment. It is really fulfilling to learn a new language, especially one that takes an entirely different set of characters, and in actuality takes a different though process than English.
I was very full of accomplishment, until I got home and read the news. It happened that a man from Minnesota (and a team of friends) launched a homemade rocket into space from a Nevada desert. Talk about eclipsing my accomplishment! : )
It was the first amateur rocket ever to enter space (which is over 62 miles above the desert floor), traveling at a speed of over 4000 miles per hour (which it reached in less than 10 seconds). It was his third attempt since 1995, and it was entirely amateur, from design to execution. He was understandably thrilled to have accomplished his life’s dream. “I just freaked out,” was his exact words.
Can you imagine? I mean, the action itself serves very little purpose. He has probably lost a lot of time and money pursuing his goal, and at times probably felt as if he’d never accomplish the task. Yet after today’s triumph, he has found something that many of us only dream of finding; fulfillment of his life’s desire.
So congrats to 65 year old Ky Michaelson for doing what so many of us struggle in vain to do. For the rest of us, lets continue to dream big, and work towards our heart’s goals. No matter how wasteful or counter-intuitive it seems, keep translating Japanese letters, painting those pictures, writing those books, and building those rockets.
See ya!
Now Its Over, I'm Dead, and I Haven't Done Anything That I Want, Or I'm Still Alive And There's Nothing I Want To Do
Just a quick entry before I run around town... I will write a proper blog later. I am so bored today! I am feeling completely rudderless. Hey friends, maybe we'll bump into each other and you can entertain me? :) I'll be at Barnes and Noble studying Japanese. See you later, when I write the real blog.
Monday, May 17, 2004
Reaching out to those living on the edge of the night...
As many of you know, I am a bit of a music fanatic. I don’t spend nearly the money that I used to on CDs, but I still listen to my favorites whenever I get the chance. For me the appeal is the creativity and the ability to convey emotions through music.
Music itself can express feelings, but lyrics have even more power (for obvious reasons) to get a message across. In rare instances, melody and poetry are working together in perfect cooperation to make a moving and unforgettable song.
One song that I have always thought was very effective is a song that is also now very hard to take seriously. The song is “Under Pressure,” which is a duet between Queen and David Bowie (2 of my favorites). The song will forever be tainted thanks to Vanilla Ice ripping off the bass line for his big hit “Ice Ice Baby.” But if you can look past the similarity between the songs, you may hear a wonderful message that is important to us in today’s world.
The song is about how all of us are living under pressures that life provides, but some of us, even people very close to us, are being crushed under the weight. It is a call for us to be more aware of the lives around us. We need to widen our vision beyond ourselves so that we might be able to help someone out before they are entirely consumed by life’s pressure.
These last few months have been a hard time to be an American. Things are not as good as they once were, and we are also engaged in a very ugly war. With families split due to military responsibility, fear of terrorism, and with tightening financial strains, Americans are facing immense pressure. I myself have found these to be trying times because the stability in my life is absent. I have a hard time placing faith in people or things, and I hurt inside… needing other people more than other. I know that if I am in this sort of situation, there are probably others, most likely even worse off than I am. I hope we all take this in consideration, and try to reach out to those around us, even if it is in a small way.
Below are some of the lyrics that I find very poignant in the song, and I hope you listen to it sometime, and are affected by its message. Whether the pressure is caused by AIDS, poverty, broken hearts, loneliness, war, or spirituality, lets help relieve the burden of our brothers and sisters.
I would ask that you especially consider the part about trying to reach out in love to those living on the “edge of the night.” For these people, a small gesture would bring them into the “light,” but not if no one reaches out to them. Without our help, they will be forever lost in darkness, and as the song suggests, either crushed or finding a way out themselves (through suicide). It is our moral duty to try to help our fellow man.
See you tomorrow with a more cheery blog! See ya!
Excerpts from UNDER PRESSURE by Queen and David Bowie
These are the days it never rains but it pours
It's the terror of knowing what this world is about
Watching some good friends screaming “let me out”
Turned away from it all like a blind man, sat on a fence but it don't work
I keep coming up with love, but it's so slashed and torn…
Insanity laughs, under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love just one more chance?
Because love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
the people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves
This is our last chance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Music itself can express feelings, but lyrics have even more power (for obvious reasons) to get a message across. In rare instances, melody and poetry are working together in perfect cooperation to make a moving and unforgettable song.
One song that I have always thought was very effective is a song that is also now very hard to take seriously. The song is “Under Pressure,” which is a duet between Queen and David Bowie (2 of my favorites). The song will forever be tainted thanks to Vanilla Ice ripping off the bass line for his big hit “Ice Ice Baby.” But if you can look past the similarity between the songs, you may hear a wonderful message that is important to us in today’s world.
The song is about how all of us are living under pressures that life provides, but some of us, even people very close to us, are being crushed under the weight. It is a call for us to be more aware of the lives around us. We need to widen our vision beyond ourselves so that we might be able to help someone out before they are entirely consumed by life’s pressure.
These last few months have been a hard time to be an American. Things are not as good as they once were, and we are also engaged in a very ugly war. With families split due to military responsibility, fear of terrorism, and with tightening financial strains, Americans are facing immense pressure. I myself have found these to be trying times because the stability in my life is absent. I have a hard time placing faith in people or things, and I hurt inside… needing other people more than other. I know that if I am in this sort of situation, there are probably others, most likely even worse off than I am. I hope we all take this in consideration, and try to reach out to those around us, even if it is in a small way.
Below are some of the lyrics that I find very poignant in the song, and I hope you listen to it sometime, and are affected by its message. Whether the pressure is caused by AIDS, poverty, broken hearts, loneliness, war, or spirituality, lets help relieve the burden of our brothers and sisters.
I would ask that you especially consider the part about trying to reach out in love to those living on the “edge of the night.” For these people, a small gesture would bring them into the “light,” but not if no one reaches out to them. Without our help, they will be forever lost in darkness, and as the song suggests, either crushed or finding a way out themselves (through suicide). It is our moral duty to try to help our fellow man.
See you tomorrow with a more cheery blog! See ya!
Excerpts from UNDER PRESSURE by Queen and David Bowie
These are the days it never rains but it pours
It's the terror of knowing what this world is about
Watching some good friends screaming “let me out”
Turned away from it all like a blind man, sat on a fence but it don't work
I keep coming up with love, but it's so slashed and torn…
Insanity laughs, under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can't we give love just one more chance?
Because love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
the people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves
This is our last chance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Sal Mohamed's link
http://www.salmohamedforcongress.org/
Check it out
Carl
Check it out
Carl
I'm Back!
Hello everyone! Finals week is now over! Yay! And for your information, I got straight A's. Go me!
I have mentally composed and forgotten at least 3 blogs, so I was at a loss at what to write today. I mean, if I didn't write SOMETHING, this place would start to seem like a dead site. So I thought maybe I would get back into the habit by talking about the parade I went to today.
Today was the Council Bluffs Pride Parade. Locals clubs, charity groups, businesses, churches, and schools march in a parade downtown. It is a lot of fun to see the costumes, hear the marching bands, and wave at our neighbors. Oh, and they throw candy too!
This year was a "down" year. There weren't any grade schools from the west end at all, which is very sad. Every school used to participate. Only one church marched, which is also disappointing. A lot of the big businesses were absent as well. Toys R Us sent a group touting charitable giving of toys to needy kids, but then had kids ride bikes and scooters behind the float, complete with big price tags attached. Tacky. Neither of the hospitals were even represented, which is also sad.
Since this is an election year, the politicians were out in full force... literally holding babies, shaking hands, and making promises. My favorite this year (for congress) is Sal Mohammed. He seems genuine, and represents a sect of the population that doesn;t get a fair voice very often (lower income/minorities). He will earn my vote. He even drives down from Sioux City every weekend to stand on a corner and hold up signs, wave at cars, and chat with people who stop by. He hasn;t mobilized a volunteer force, and hasn;t tried to raise a single dime. He is completely DIY (do it yourself).
the parade had very good entertainment. All of the martial arts clubs gave demonstrations, as well as the dancing schools and gymnastics teams. A newer phenomena are truck clubs, where guys build giant pickup trucks and showcase them. It is Iowa after all. But for the rate that gas is going for this year, it probably cost each truck owner about $20 just to do the parade!
After it was all over, I was a little disappointed that it wasn;t as good as in the past. The community needs to embrace this for unity and pride. I have considered maybe volunteering on the steering committee next year and making a lot of phone calls to schools and churches. It would be nice to see Council Blufs out in full force to celebrate.
One last note, the behavior of the spectators was very good, but the litter afterwards was heart breaking. My 3 year old niece and I picked up trash for 15 minutes, and that was only in a 20 square foot area. We finally had to go, but as we walked back to the car, there was litter every where. Candy wrappes, empty pop and water bottles, and even flyers handed out by the floats were on the ground everywhere. This doesn't really say "pride" does it? Littering is very, very bad.
Well, more later! Hopefully I will get back in the habit of emailing and writing blogs! See ya!
I have mentally composed and forgotten at least 3 blogs, so I was at a loss at what to write today. I mean, if I didn't write SOMETHING, this place would start to seem like a dead site. So I thought maybe I would get back into the habit by talking about the parade I went to today.
Today was the Council Bluffs Pride Parade. Locals clubs, charity groups, businesses, churches, and schools march in a parade downtown. It is a lot of fun to see the costumes, hear the marching bands, and wave at our neighbors. Oh, and they throw candy too!
This year was a "down" year. There weren't any grade schools from the west end at all, which is very sad. Every school used to participate. Only one church marched, which is also disappointing. A lot of the big businesses were absent as well. Toys R Us sent a group touting charitable giving of toys to needy kids, but then had kids ride bikes and scooters behind the float, complete with big price tags attached. Tacky. Neither of the hospitals were even represented, which is also sad.
Since this is an election year, the politicians were out in full force... literally holding babies, shaking hands, and making promises. My favorite this year (for congress) is Sal Mohammed. He seems genuine, and represents a sect of the population that doesn;t get a fair voice very often (lower income/minorities). He will earn my vote. He even drives down from Sioux City every weekend to stand on a corner and hold up signs, wave at cars, and chat with people who stop by. He hasn;t mobilized a volunteer force, and hasn;t tried to raise a single dime. He is completely DIY (do it yourself).
the parade had very good entertainment. All of the martial arts clubs gave demonstrations, as well as the dancing schools and gymnastics teams. A newer phenomena are truck clubs, where guys build giant pickup trucks and showcase them. It is Iowa after all. But for the rate that gas is going for this year, it probably cost each truck owner about $20 just to do the parade!
After it was all over, I was a little disappointed that it wasn;t as good as in the past. The community needs to embrace this for unity and pride. I have considered maybe volunteering on the steering committee next year and making a lot of phone calls to schools and churches. It would be nice to see Council Blufs out in full force to celebrate.
One last note, the behavior of the spectators was very good, but the litter afterwards was heart breaking. My 3 year old niece and I picked up trash for 15 minutes, and that was only in a 20 square foot area. We finally had to go, but as we walked back to the car, there was litter every where. Candy wrappes, empty pop and water bottles, and even flyers handed out by the floats were on the ground everywhere. This doesn't really say "pride" does it? Littering is very, very bad.
Well, more later! Hopefully I will get back in the habit of emailing and writing blogs! See ya!
Monday, May 10, 2004
Concrete and Pot Lucks
Hello all! You could say that this post comes at the expense of my common sense. I have an insane amount of homework I should be doing for Physics, seeing as the final was moved up two days earlier than I had planned. But I hate to neglect my site, in fear that I will lose my few readers that I have managed to amass. So here we go!
I recently learned about a fascinating fact of applied science. It seems that concrete is amazingly resilient to forces of compression. But this comes at a price; it is also very weak when it comes to expansion. So cement would be a great choice for pillars and bricks, but isn't really a fantastic candidate for streets or bridges in areas where weather changes drastically (or there are a lot of earthquakes). And cement would make an awful material to make clothing out of. :)
However, man has found a way to use cement despite its weakness. We not lay networks of long metal wires in the cement that help it contract and expand. The problem is that the cement still will fracture under the right amount of force.
So smarter humans have come up with yet another solution (if using an inherently problematic substance can be considered smart at all). The wires are now stretched as far as their elasticity will allow, then the concrete is poured. Once the concrete is completely dry, the wires are released, putting the cement under forces of compression (which it can easily withstand). Now whenever you apply forces of expansion, the concrete is only finding itself less compressed, rather than expanded at all. Brilliant!
This is called pre-stressed concrete. Why do I bring this up (other than the fact I am fascinated by this sort of trivial scientific knowledge)? Well, it reminds me of a comment my friend Phuong said last week.
She mentioned how much she loves pot-luck dinners. The pot-luck is a modern day descendant of an ancient tradition called potlatch. Potlatch was a type of activity that tribes/villages (like the tribes that occupied southern Alaska, Washington state, British Columbia, and Vancouver Island) would take part in where many members are responsible to bring a great deal of goods together for a massive feast.
These potlatch feasts served many purposes. For one, it was a way to shame other invited tribes, and affix primacy of one chief/people's power over others. It was a sneak way to compete and measure a chief's influence and power against another. It also was a great way to redistribute resources. If there were poor among the tribe, they would get to share in the wealth of the potlatch. Those blessed with bounty then were forced to share, therefore undermining the social stratification problems we see between the very rich and the very poor today.
But the potlatch mirrors prestressed concrete in one very distinct way, as anthropologist Marvin Harris points out in his book "Cows, Pigs, Wars, and Witches." Because the upcoming feast was always held over the heads of the tribes-people, they were constantly busy with preparations. The chief was always directing energy and the people were constantly working to prepare. It could be said that the people were constantly under stress.
This stress was an ingenious tool to keep the workers productive. In times of bounty, it would have been easy to slack off and lower productivity to normalize output to a previous year's effort. But the chief would have none of this. His power, his influence, and the very pride of the people were at stake. A bountiful year meant an even more extravagant feast, and many villagers would be lured to his village (if they saw there own village as lacking in comparison).
The chief used this artificial stress to maintain productivity. There was no room for laziness or idleness. Much like the stress of compression that the rebar places on the concrete, the ever approaching potlatch placed the people under stress. Therefore, in years where resources became meager, the people were already prepared to work hard. The potlatch may not be as fabulous as the prior season's, but the people would be able to maintain the stamina and motivation to survive.
Humans sometimes need external aid in staying diligent. We can;t always put too much faith into how we think we will act, or how we think we will be able to perform. Every runner knows this. You can't just run the marathons, you have to train in between; usually at distances further than the actual races. Personal ethics work the same way. You cannot expect that you will act in a noble and moral way when the "decision time" comes if you do not hold yourself to a rigorous moral code in your daily life.
A great prinicpal to measure your morals is to compare how the "you" acts/thinks in private with the "you" at other way-points in your daily life (the "you" at church, "you" at school, "you" in front of your friends, "you" at work, and "you" around family). They should pretty much be the same "you."
For example, internet porn is wildly succesful due to its anonymity and accessability in private. Many people now view porn who in past days would have never bought so much as a swimsuit magazine at a store (let alone rent/buy pornography from a retailer). But it shouldn't be this way. It all boils down to personal ethics and honesty, two MAJOR factors to living a worthwhile life. As Gandhi put it (I paraphrase), live the change that you want to see in the world.
It is as if we need the added stress to prepare us for bad times. Our trials and hardships are probably great training for possible future disasters. Rather than be fatalists, and assuming that it is our lot in life to suffer, or whiners, and complain about how miserable our lives are... we should try to see our problems as "character building" exercises.
My friends and I are all under a great deal of stress right now, for various reasons. It is finals week, some of us are awaiting acceptance to pharmacy school, and we all have our personal dilemmas that life throws at everyone. But these stressors are making us stronger, preparing us, helping us find our limits, and keeping us productive.
So it is no wonder that a person as wonderful and intelligent as my friend Phuong is would love pot-lucks. She subliminally realizes that they represent ancient tribal rites, highway concrete pouring techniques, and pop psychology. Oh, and eating. Lots and lots of flavorful eating. :)
The feast will come, and it only is able to be thrown because of the stress we were under in preparation. If you are in preparation/stress mode (as I am), hang in there. The feast is coming; it will be worthwhile. And if you are at the feast/pot-luck already... well, enjoy it! And save some for the rest of us!
See ya!
I recently learned about a fascinating fact of applied science. It seems that concrete is amazingly resilient to forces of compression. But this comes at a price; it is also very weak when it comes to expansion. So cement would be a great choice for pillars and bricks, but isn't really a fantastic candidate for streets or bridges in areas where weather changes drastically (or there are a lot of earthquakes). And cement would make an awful material to make clothing out of. :)
However, man has found a way to use cement despite its weakness. We not lay networks of long metal wires in the cement that help it contract and expand. The problem is that the cement still will fracture under the right amount of force.
So smarter humans have come up with yet another solution (if using an inherently problematic substance can be considered smart at all). The wires are now stretched as far as their elasticity will allow, then the concrete is poured. Once the concrete is completely dry, the wires are released, putting the cement under forces of compression (which it can easily withstand). Now whenever you apply forces of expansion, the concrete is only finding itself less compressed, rather than expanded at all. Brilliant!
This is called pre-stressed concrete. Why do I bring this up (other than the fact I am fascinated by this sort of trivial scientific knowledge)? Well, it reminds me of a comment my friend Phuong said last week.
She mentioned how much she loves pot-luck dinners. The pot-luck is a modern day descendant of an ancient tradition called potlatch. Potlatch was a type of activity that tribes/villages (like the tribes that occupied southern Alaska, Washington state, British Columbia, and Vancouver Island) would take part in where many members are responsible to bring a great deal of goods together for a massive feast.
These potlatch feasts served many purposes. For one, it was a way to shame other invited tribes, and affix primacy of one chief/people's power over others. It was a sneak way to compete and measure a chief's influence and power against another. It also was a great way to redistribute resources. If there were poor among the tribe, they would get to share in the wealth of the potlatch. Those blessed with bounty then were forced to share, therefore undermining the social stratification problems we see between the very rich and the very poor today.
But the potlatch mirrors prestressed concrete in one very distinct way, as anthropologist Marvin Harris points out in his book "Cows, Pigs, Wars, and Witches." Because the upcoming feast was always held over the heads of the tribes-people, they were constantly busy with preparations. The chief was always directing energy and the people were constantly working to prepare. It could be said that the people were constantly under stress.
This stress was an ingenious tool to keep the workers productive. In times of bounty, it would have been easy to slack off and lower productivity to normalize output to a previous year's effort. But the chief would have none of this. His power, his influence, and the very pride of the people were at stake. A bountiful year meant an even more extravagant feast, and many villagers would be lured to his village (if they saw there own village as lacking in comparison).
The chief used this artificial stress to maintain productivity. There was no room for laziness or idleness. Much like the stress of compression that the rebar places on the concrete, the ever approaching potlatch placed the people under stress. Therefore, in years where resources became meager, the people were already prepared to work hard. The potlatch may not be as fabulous as the prior season's, but the people would be able to maintain the stamina and motivation to survive.
Humans sometimes need external aid in staying diligent. We can;t always put too much faith into how we think we will act, or how we think we will be able to perform. Every runner knows this. You can't just run the marathons, you have to train in between; usually at distances further than the actual races. Personal ethics work the same way. You cannot expect that you will act in a noble and moral way when the "decision time" comes if you do not hold yourself to a rigorous moral code in your daily life.
A great prinicpal to measure your morals is to compare how the "you" acts/thinks in private with the "you" at other way-points in your daily life (the "you" at church, "you" at school, "you" in front of your friends, "you" at work, and "you" around family). They should pretty much be the same "you."
For example, internet porn is wildly succesful due to its anonymity and accessability in private. Many people now view porn who in past days would have never bought so much as a swimsuit magazine at a store (let alone rent/buy pornography from a retailer). But it shouldn't be this way. It all boils down to personal ethics and honesty, two MAJOR factors to living a worthwhile life. As Gandhi put it (I paraphrase), live the change that you want to see in the world.
It is as if we need the added stress to prepare us for bad times. Our trials and hardships are probably great training for possible future disasters. Rather than be fatalists, and assuming that it is our lot in life to suffer, or whiners, and complain about how miserable our lives are... we should try to see our problems as "character building" exercises.
My friends and I are all under a great deal of stress right now, for various reasons. It is finals week, some of us are awaiting acceptance to pharmacy school, and we all have our personal dilemmas that life throws at everyone. But these stressors are making us stronger, preparing us, helping us find our limits, and keeping us productive.
So it is no wonder that a person as wonderful and intelligent as my friend Phuong is would love pot-lucks. She subliminally realizes that they represent ancient tribal rites, highway concrete pouring techniques, and pop psychology. Oh, and eating. Lots and lots of flavorful eating. :)
The feast will come, and it only is able to be thrown because of the stress we were under in preparation. If you are in preparation/stress mode (as I am), hang in there. The feast is coming; it will be worthwhile. And if you are at the feast/pot-luck already... well, enjoy it! And save some for the rest of us!
See ya!
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Atsui desune, and The Perfect Society
Summer weather is here! The sun is beating down, my skin is slightly red, and I am wearing my flip-flop sandals. It does my mind and body good to enjoy the outdoors. This morning I went for a bicycle ride, and then spent the day at the park. It was a good day!
While I was at the park, I saw many of our Hispanic neighbors enjoying the park as well. At almost any given time, you will see groups and families of our Latino community at area parks. I began to think how nice it is that their culture includes this appreciation for such activities. I began to wonder, what would my perfect society look like, if I could steal aspects from other cultures? Here's what I would steal.
Hispanic Culture: I'd steal the notion of spending free time outdoors, together with friends and family at the park. I'd like to emulate their close knit kinship groups. I'd rob the idea of siesta, where work shuts down for a spell in the afternoon, during which time people nap and converse.
African American Culture: I'd emulate their pride; their shared understanding of the common struggle, and the apparent feeling of brotherhood. I'd steal the religious fervor and the endless creativity. The African American culture seems to value self-expression, style, and creativity greatly, whether it is in communication, art, fashion, or even sports.
Japanese Culture: I'd demand that everyone enjoy manga. I'd make sure that tradition still remained alongside modern life, and I'd definitely keep their diet. I'd steal their notion of harmony and selflessness. I'd definitely hope to copy the politeness and humility of their culture. I have always loved how they have managed to weave art, spirituality, and daily life all together.
American Culture: I like the freedom, although it has it's moments. I like the multiculturalism, and I love the fact that we strive to protect the rights of children, women, and all people. I like the exchange of ideas, and the notion that everyone is free to write their own destiny, even though failure is always still a possibility.
Other Cultures: I like the notion of respect that many Asian cultures expect. I like the idea that the community should be put above an individual. I like the Jamaican love for life, and the slower pace many island nations lead. I like the friendliness of the Australian, and the passion of the French. I love the code of family and honor that exemplifies Italian cultures, and the connectedness to nature of the Native American. I love the idea of royalty, and even though England has a nice tradition, I much prefer the Thailand equivalent, where it is a voluntary social no-no to criticize the royal court. Lastly, I would steal the love for soccer that the whole world (outside of the USA) seems to have.
I probably over simplified, or maybe even misinterpreted some cultures, but its my fantasy after all. The only thing I can do is live my life in the way I wish the world would be, and hope that I can exert some positive influence on others. What sort of world would you like to live in?
While I was at the park, I saw many of our Hispanic neighbors enjoying the park as well. At almost any given time, you will see groups and families of our Latino community at area parks. I began to think how nice it is that their culture includes this appreciation for such activities. I began to wonder, what would my perfect society look like, if I could steal aspects from other cultures? Here's what I would steal.
Hispanic Culture: I'd steal the notion of spending free time outdoors, together with friends and family at the park. I'd like to emulate their close knit kinship groups. I'd rob the idea of siesta, where work shuts down for a spell in the afternoon, during which time people nap and converse.
African American Culture: I'd emulate their pride; their shared understanding of the common struggle, and the apparent feeling of brotherhood. I'd steal the religious fervor and the endless creativity. The African American culture seems to value self-expression, style, and creativity greatly, whether it is in communication, art, fashion, or even sports.
Japanese Culture: I'd demand that everyone enjoy manga. I'd make sure that tradition still remained alongside modern life, and I'd definitely keep their diet. I'd steal their notion of harmony and selflessness. I'd definitely hope to copy the politeness and humility of their culture. I have always loved how they have managed to weave art, spirituality, and daily life all together.
American Culture: I like the freedom, although it has it's moments. I like the multiculturalism, and I love the fact that we strive to protect the rights of children, women, and all people. I like the exchange of ideas, and the notion that everyone is free to write their own destiny, even though failure is always still a possibility.
Other Cultures: I like the notion of respect that many Asian cultures expect. I like the idea that the community should be put above an individual. I like the Jamaican love for life, and the slower pace many island nations lead. I like the friendliness of the Australian, and the passion of the French. I love the code of family and honor that exemplifies Italian cultures, and the connectedness to nature of the Native American. I love the idea of royalty, and even though England has a nice tradition, I much prefer the Thailand equivalent, where it is a voluntary social no-no to criticize the royal court. Lastly, I would steal the love for soccer that the whole world (outside of the USA) seems to have.
I probably over simplified, or maybe even misinterpreted some cultures, but its my fantasy after all. The only thing I can do is live my life in the way I wish the world would be, and hope that I can exert some positive influence on others. What sort of world would you like to live in?
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
The death of my literature class... and Satan (?)
Hey friends! Man did I have an awful day today. Oh well, you can't win them all. Although, it would have been nice to have friends to talk to... not just a blank white Blog screen... sigh. Oh well! I guess I just need to move to where my friends are, or build robot friends (like Joel did on the Satellite of Love!)
I have had a horrible time with my Literature class this semester. It was called The Nature of Evil in Literature. I thought it would be a good chance to sort out some ideas about evil and righteousness. Instead it was one hurdle after another. Online courses can be very trying!
At the midterm break, I had a 95%. Since then I have missed deadlines, struggled to keep up reading, and in the case of Paradise Lost, fought with my own language (old English is impenetrable to me). This frustration came to critical mass when my online final was somehow corrupted, and I had to retake it tonight. It was a 3 hour final, all essay. Do you know how hard it is to rewrite an essay? You reserve the initial points, but the poetry (and interest in writing it) is lost.
But... I AM DONE! Yay! Only two more classes to finish up in the next week. Then it is one big question mark this summer. I have so much on my mind right now, and no answers are making themselves available. I have at least four major dilemmas in my life right now, and all of them are out of my hands. Well, two of them are, and the others are stalemates no matter what I do.
So, on that note, here are two of my essay answers from my test. I am proud of these, since I wrote them twice! They are somewhat related, so that is why I chose these two.
I want that rotten experience to be forever a part of my Blog. So I hope you read it, and enjoy it. Don't ask me to retype it. :)
Love ya, Carl
-------------------------
If we assume that the reader of Paradise Lost has some belief in the Christian God, there are really two sides that can be taken. One is that God is to be revered and honored for allowing us lowly humans to exist at all. This God has made us, and in our ungrateful and selfish nature, we choose to turn against His will. He has given us the free will to do so. Every time we sin, we hurt Him. Although it pains HIm a great deal, He's even allowed us the right to sin ourselves into hell. Luckily for us, redemption is always there for us to seek, as long as we do it before we die.
The other side of the argument says that God plays a role less like a doting grandfather, and more like an omnipotent maestro. God sits in heaven and orchestrates all things for a divine purpose. In this setting, God has seen far into the future, and knows all outcomes. Free will is neutered in this belief, as history has been pretty much predetermined. All that God creates and allows has a purpose in His plan, and we are helpless to fulfill the roles.
Depending on which mindset one is in, Satan in Paradise Lost can appear to be a mischievous hero or a relentless villain. If history is predetermined, then it could be said that Satan is helpless to be the goat. God knew he needed a foil, and Satan was created with his personality, and placed into particular settings to fulfill this role. No matter what Satan does, he is only playing his part of the eternal symphony.
If free will exists, then Satan is a horrible creature. He spurns God, and in his pride, lashes out against the most holy and benevolent person in the universe. He willfully chooses to allow his pride to grow stronger than his humility, and starts an uprising. Even in defeat, Satan continues to lash out against God. Even after seeing God in His complete glory, and spending time in paradise, Satan chooses to act in evil ways.
Satan's character either demands sympathy or abhorrence from the reader. The cue to which the reader will feel is probably tied to what they think about God. Is he an impersonal force that has laid out the Book of History, or is be a loving, personal God that only wants His prodigals to find their ways home on their own? These questions will give you insight to how a reader will view Satan in Milton.
The End
-----------------
One theme that is interesting in Christianity is the supremacy of the righteous god. The Christian God is not satisfied to be locked in an eternal battle with the forces of evil. Instead he wields primacy over all creation, and declares victory from day one. This is never more clear than when He orchestrates evil situations to good ends.
In Milton, we see that Satan's rebellion sets off a chain of events that actually improves creation. By introducing the taint of sin into the world, Satan has unknowingly created a vehicle for grace. God is further able to show His benevolence when mankind finds itself in sin. Satan's rebellion also allows Christ to need to martyr Himself in the ultimate display of love. Thanks to Satan, the messiah has a mission. God has perhaps allowed Satan to rebel and live to achieve these ends. By setting himself against God, Satan also sealed his own fate. He went public with his evil, and forced God to deal with him.
In Blatty, Pazuzu starts off strong. His actions seem unstoppable, and there is little room for hope. But thanks to coincidence or divine intervention, Merrin and Karras are led into the life of Regan. Due to the activity of Pazuzu, Merrin is handed over to God for eternal rest (a reward he had served a long time to receive), Karras regains his faith and performs one last act of love and selflessness, and Chris and Regan have a new chance to develop a proper family life. Pazuzu, like Satan, was his own undoing. God may have allowed Pazuzu to be free, and to enter Regan to bring these players together, and to speed along the mentioned conclusions. By manifesting in Regan, he forced the world to deal with him.
At the end of each tale, much hope and good remains, and there is less evil in the world. This stands as a mighty reminder that this character of "God" is always in control, and cannot be beaten. He is so mighty that even the most evil of actions can be turned into the benefit of the kingdom of heaven. Paradise Lost and The Exorcist are examples of literature that teach this attribute of God through narrative.
The End
----------------------------------------
I have had a horrible time with my Literature class this semester. It was called The Nature of Evil in Literature. I thought it would be a good chance to sort out some ideas about evil and righteousness. Instead it was one hurdle after another. Online courses can be very trying!
At the midterm break, I had a 95%. Since then I have missed deadlines, struggled to keep up reading, and in the case of Paradise Lost, fought with my own language (old English is impenetrable to me). This frustration came to critical mass when my online final was somehow corrupted, and I had to retake it tonight. It was a 3 hour final, all essay. Do you know how hard it is to rewrite an essay? You reserve the initial points, but the poetry (and interest in writing it) is lost.
But... I AM DONE! Yay! Only two more classes to finish up in the next week. Then it is one big question mark this summer. I have so much on my mind right now, and no answers are making themselves available. I have at least four major dilemmas in my life right now, and all of them are out of my hands. Well, two of them are, and the others are stalemates no matter what I do.
So, on that note, here are two of my essay answers from my test. I am proud of these, since I wrote them twice! They are somewhat related, so that is why I chose these two.
I want that rotten experience to be forever a part of my Blog. So I hope you read it, and enjoy it. Don't ask me to retype it. :)
Love ya, Carl
-------------------------
If we assume that the reader of Paradise Lost has some belief in the Christian God, there are really two sides that can be taken. One is that God is to be revered and honored for allowing us lowly humans to exist at all. This God has made us, and in our ungrateful and selfish nature, we choose to turn against His will. He has given us the free will to do so. Every time we sin, we hurt Him. Although it pains HIm a great deal, He's even allowed us the right to sin ourselves into hell. Luckily for us, redemption is always there for us to seek, as long as we do it before we die.
The other side of the argument says that God plays a role less like a doting grandfather, and more like an omnipotent maestro. God sits in heaven and orchestrates all things for a divine purpose. In this setting, God has seen far into the future, and knows all outcomes. Free will is neutered in this belief, as history has been pretty much predetermined. All that God creates and allows has a purpose in His plan, and we are helpless to fulfill the roles.
Depending on which mindset one is in, Satan in Paradise Lost can appear to be a mischievous hero or a relentless villain. If history is predetermined, then it could be said that Satan is helpless to be the goat. God knew he needed a foil, and Satan was created with his personality, and placed into particular settings to fulfill this role. No matter what Satan does, he is only playing his part of the eternal symphony.
If free will exists, then Satan is a horrible creature. He spurns God, and in his pride, lashes out against the most holy and benevolent person in the universe. He willfully chooses to allow his pride to grow stronger than his humility, and starts an uprising. Even in defeat, Satan continues to lash out against God. Even after seeing God in His complete glory, and spending time in paradise, Satan chooses to act in evil ways.
Satan's character either demands sympathy or abhorrence from the reader. The cue to which the reader will feel is probably tied to what they think about God. Is he an impersonal force that has laid out the Book of History, or is be a loving, personal God that only wants His prodigals to find their ways home on their own? These questions will give you insight to how a reader will view Satan in Milton.
The End
-----------------
One theme that is interesting in Christianity is the supremacy of the righteous god. The Christian God is not satisfied to be locked in an eternal battle with the forces of evil. Instead he wields primacy over all creation, and declares victory from day one. This is never more clear than when He orchestrates evil situations to good ends.
In Milton, we see that Satan's rebellion sets off a chain of events that actually improves creation. By introducing the taint of sin into the world, Satan has unknowingly created a vehicle for grace. God is further able to show His benevolence when mankind finds itself in sin. Satan's rebellion also allows Christ to need to martyr Himself in the ultimate display of love. Thanks to Satan, the messiah has a mission. God has perhaps allowed Satan to rebel and live to achieve these ends. By setting himself against God, Satan also sealed his own fate. He went public with his evil, and forced God to deal with him.
In Blatty, Pazuzu starts off strong. His actions seem unstoppable, and there is little room for hope. But thanks to coincidence or divine intervention, Merrin and Karras are led into the life of Regan. Due to the activity of Pazuzu, Merrin is handed over to God for eternal rest (a reward he had served a long time to receive), Karras regains his faith and performs one last act of love and selflessness, and Chris and Regan have a new chance to develop a proper family life. Pazuzu, like Satan, was his own undoing. God may have allowed Pazuzu to be free, and to enter Regan to bring these players together, and to speed along the mentioned conclusions. By manifesting in Regan, he forced the world to deal with him.
At the end of each tale, much hope and good remains, and there is less evil in the world. This stands as a mighty reminder that this character of "God" is always in control, and cannot be beaten. He is so mighty that even the most evil of actions can be turned into the benefit of the kingdom of heaven. Paradise Lost and The Exorcist are examples of literature that teach this attribute of God through narrative.
The End
----------------------------------------
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
How I Am Feeling (represented best by lyrics to an Adam Again song)
I had a big idea, I had a crazy eye
I broke the sacred seal, I told a lazy lie
I've had my conscience bent
I've had my patience tried
I've been up to the river and down by the riverside
Will the eagle fly if the sky's untrue
Do the faithful sigh because they are so few
Remember when I cried. Remember when you knew
Do you remember the look in your eyes, I know I do
I count the stars to measure time
The earth is hard, it's treasure fine
To the sea, I'll crawl on my knees
Feel it coming in, feel it going out
Water covers sand, blood covers doubt
So I begin again, begin the healing bow
There was a time I might of surrendered but not now
So consult the cards to measure mind
The earth is hard, it's treasure fine
To the sea, I'll crawl on my knees
And count the stars to measure time
The earth is hard, it's treasure fine
At the sea, I'll wait on my knees
At the sea,
I'll wait on my knees
(for you)
I broke the sacred seal, I told a lazy lie
I've had my conscience bent
I've had my patience tried
I've been up to the river and down by the riverside
Will the eagle fly if the sky's untrue
Do the faithful sigh because they are so few
Remember when I cried. Remember when you knew
Do you remember the look in your eyes, I know I do
I count the stars to measure time
The earth is hard, it's treasure fine
To the sea, I'll crawl on my knees
Feel it coming in, feel it going out
Water covers sand, blood covers doubt
So I begin again, begin the healing bow
There was a time I might of surrendered but not now
So consult the cards to measure mind
The earth is hard, it's treasure fine
To the sea, I'll crawl on my knees
And count the stars to measure time
The earth is hard, it's treasure fine
At the sea, I'll wait on my knees
At the sea,
I'll wait on my knees
(for you)