Saturday, June 05, 2004
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?
Or so go the lyrics in Modest Mouse's song "Ocean Breathes Salty." Modest Mouse is a band that I have myself discovered only this week. I saw the video for "Float On" and literally drove straight to the record store to buy the CD. FYI, the CD is called "Good News for People Who Love Bad News," and it is fantastic.
Anyway, the notion of wasting life was especially apparent to me as I watched VH-1's latest TV series "the Top 100 Metal Moments." I was very excited for this series because I used to be a huge heavy metal fan. I was anxious to see my old heroes up to no good, playing music that sounds cheezy now, and wearing clothes that look even cheezier.
However, I instead became a bit sickened by the whole show. The countdown was nothing more than a steady stream of "so and so did so much drugs that he..." or "this band did this to get girls in bed." It was disturbing how out of control the metal scene was, and how ambivalent the musicians are to this day.
They would use words like "decadent" and "good old days" to describe times when they literally dies from overdoses, slept with 14 year old groupies, and became arrested for various crimes. Instead of celebrating actual "moments" like the fight against the PMRC over censorship, the challenging of social stereotypes and norms, the videos, and outrageous stage shows (and clothes), the VH-1 show did nothing but glorify a lifestyle that frankly makes my stomach turn. And I am a fan.
These bands were living what they were singing. They looked at female fans a nothing more than potential lays. They did whatever they could to get more female fans. They were constantly abusing drugs and booze until they either died or nearly died. They wore their addictions and objectification like badges, and even sang songs about it.
To me as an American teenager, I thought that the depiction of sex and drugs in metal songs were just a middle finger to pop radio. I used to think metal was an attitude; a heaviness of music and a disregard for convention. Metal to me was big hair, torn jeans, and a great guitar riff. Metal was standing against authority and pumping a fist into the air. Metal was the "devil" hand sign that I still flash to my friends.
Heavy metal was a powerful "art-form" that apparently was wasted by your typical high-school dropouts.
What metal was not was Kip Winger posing for Playgirl, Bon Jovi creating a panic for fringe, or Def Leppard's under-stage brothel that they would take turns retiring to during and after concerts. Metal was not Motley Crue having pornography and S&M costumes confiscated by the Canadian Border Patrol. And Metal was most definitely not Steven Tyler talking a 14 year old girl's parent into making him her legal guardian so that she could tour with him and have sexual relations for 3 years.
I guess what I am trying to say is it made me sick to see all those wasted lives, still unapologetic and useless. They made their money, had their sex (6,400 liaisons for Gene Simmons alone), and destroyed their bodies with drugs. They partied and screwed and wrote awful music just to have a reason to tour, party, and screw some more. What a waste.
It makes me happy that I have found a way to outgrow metal's influence, and to actually give a crap about something greater in life. If I still had my torn up jeans, I'd feel compelled to burn them into permanent retirement. No matter how sweet the song "Nobody's Fool" is.
So what was the #1 most metal moment? I don't know. I turned it off at 15. As my brother said, it could have been boiled down to a list of 20 moments, and even then only 5 would have mattered.
So looking back on all the hours and dollars I spent worshipping the music these men produced, I find it hard not to feel a little embarrassed. Today's blog both allows me to admit this embarrassment, to tell my friends who never "got" metal that they were right, and to lastly say that I am glad that I am not wasting my life.
I may not have much money, I never faced a screaming crowd, and I have only had sex with one girl ever, but at least I have a purpose. I have a desire to help people in need, a longing to truly love others, and to improve myself. And to me, those are the only moments that matter.
Anyway, the notion of wasting life was especially apparent to me as I watched VH-1's latest TV series "the Top 100 Metal Moments." I was very excited for this series because I used to be a huge heavy metal fan. I was anxious to see my old heroes up to no good, playing music that sounds cheezy now, and wearing clothes that look even cheezier.
However, I instead became a bit sickened by the whole show. The countdown was nothing more than a steady stream of "so and so did so much drugs that he..." or "this band did this to get girls in bed." It was disturbing how out of control the metal scene was, and how ambivalent the musicians are to this day.
They would use words like "decadent" and "good old days" to describe times when they literally dies from overdoses, slept with 14 year old groupies, and became arrested for various crimes. Instead of celebrating actual "moments" like the fight against the PMRC over censorship, the challenging of social stereotypes and norms, the videos, and outrageous stage shows (and clothes), the VH-1 show did nothing but glorify a lifestyle that frankly makes my stomach turn. And I am a fan.
These bands were living what they were singing. They looked at female fans a nothing more than potential lays. They did whatever they could to get more female fans. They were constantly abusing drugs and booze until they either died or nearly died. They wore their addictions and objectification like badges, and even sang songs about it.
To me as an American teenager, I thought that the depiction of sex and drugs in metal songs were just a middle finger to pop radio. I used to think metal was an attitude; a heaviness of music and a disregard for convention. Metal to me was big hair, torn jeans, and a great guitar riff. Metal was standing against authority and pumping a fist into the air. Metal was the "devil" hand sign that I still flash to my friends.
Heavy metal was a powerful "art-form" that apparently was wasted by your typical high-school dropouts.
What metal was not was Kip Winger posing for Playgirl, Bon Jovi creating a panic for fringe, or Def Leppard's under-stage brothel that they would take turns retiring to during and after concerts. Metal was not Motley Crue having pornography and S&M costumes confiscated by the Canadian Border Patrol. And Metal was most definitely not Steven Tyler talking a 14 year old girl's parent into making him her legal guardian so that she could tour with him and have sexual relations for 3 years.
I guess what I am trying to say is it made me sick to see all those wasted lives, still unapologetic and useless. They made their money, had their sex (6,400 liaisons for Gene Simmons alone), and destroyed their bodies with drugs. They partied and screwed and wrote awful music just to have a reason to tour, party, and screw some more. What a waste.
It makes me happy that I have found a way to outgrow metal's influence, and to actually give a crap about something greater in life. If I still had my torn up jeans, I'd feel compelled to burn them into permanent retirement. No matter how sweet the song "Nobody's Fool" is.
So what was the #1 most metal moment? I don't know. I turned it off at 15. As my brother said, it could have been boiled down to a list of 20 moments, and even then only 5 would have mattered.
So looking back on all the hours and dollars I spent worshipping the music these men produced, I find it hard not to feel a little embarrassed. Today's blog both allows me to admit this embarrassment, to tell my friends who never "got" metal that they were right, and to lastly say that I am glad that I am not wasting my life.
I may not have much money, I never faced a screaming crowd, and I have only had sex with one girl ever, but at least I have a purpose. I have a desire to help people in need, a longing to truly love others, and to improve myself. And to me, those are the only moments that matter.
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