Friday, October 15, 2004
Don't you remember the garden grove where we walked? Pluck the finest flower of them all; 't'will wither to a stalk.
I have sort of been in a sappy love story mood lately. I think it has to do with (among other things) reading the Inuyasha manga series (I read all 19 volumes that are available in English over the last 3 weeks). While it is a violent action manga, the love stories within are very touching (the comedy is good too by the way). I posted a scene from Vol.18 below.
The title of the blog comes from a song (Cold Blows the Wind by Ween), and it is related to the tragic love stories of the Far East. It particularly reminds me of a story I have fallen completely in love with... It is the first "dream" in Soseki Natsume's Ten Nights of Dreams. It is about a man who expresses his love to a woman on her death bed, and she asks him to wait for her to return to him. So he waits, by her grave side... A fantastic love story. I am working on translating the rest of the book, by the way.
I was going to blog about all of my favorite tender moments in literature and movies, but I am not sure how it would come off. I mean, there are only so many adjectives I know to explain what my heart feels (for more on the heart, peek over at Paul's Ponderings; use the link below my poll). A lot of the movie and prose moments that tug at my heartstrings have to do with situations in my own life; people I love (secretly or publicly), people I have had a hard time letting know how I feel, people who have let me down, and so on. So, to speak of too many of these things would really open myself up for a lot of examination... not something I wanted to do when I first came up with this topic.
I am also aware that I can be overly affected by matters of the heart. This is, as I have mentioned in past posts, an off-shoot of events in my life that left me broken, and reassembled me in a much more fragile version of myself. For instance, one of my favorite past times is playing video games, primarily RPGs. In the game Final Fantasy 7, there is a character named Aeris who you really start to love. In an unprecedented plot element, she is murdered before your eyes. So, not only do you see her unexpected demise, you watch as the other characters lay her to rest, and try to come to grips with her absence. I never did finish the game, because this depressed me so much. I mean HONEST depression.
So, I always use a little care in these sorts of discussions... because I know I have the ability to over-react to fiction. But, here is a short (edited) list of beautiful "love" moments from my favorite fictional works;
1) movie: Patton. General Patton stumbles upon a battlefield. The men fought through the night. Ammo and fuel ran out, so the battle turned hand to hand. One soldier mustered the strength to stay alive long enough to give report to the general, who was too late to act as reinforcement. The soldier dies as the general watches. Then General Patton leans over and kisses the man on the forehead. This is how all military leaders should behave; he realized that the man was valiant, and he honored his soul by mourning his loss. All too often we get the message that soldiers are just pawns. Of course, Primetime did a story last night that the US gov't is trying to make a Purple Heart winner, who miraculously survived a mortar attack but is now disabled, pay back his enlistment bonus. Anyway, the juxtaposition of bloody war, a godlike general, and the tender kiss on the forehead makes for a powerful scene.
2)book: The English Patient. I don't want to give away too much of this plot, especially if all you have ever known of this great story is the movie... the whole book is an exercise in challenging the reader to define what love is, how powerful of a force it is, and then dares you to make a moral judgment on the actions of others. The "return to the cave" part of the book is enough to kill a person emotionally.
3)book: The Scarlet Pimpernel. A classic. In it, a man absolutely worships his wife, but he acts like a fop to cover the fact that he is a French Revolution version of Batman. There is a scene where she storms away from him (because he is acting so ridiculous; in character), and once she leaves, he stoops to kiss the place where she stood. It was killing him that he couldn't just be passionate to the woman who held his heart.
4)movie: The Royal Tennenbaums. Here is an intimate Carl fact that I will share... this movie absolutely levels me every time I see it. I see myself as an analog of the broken Richie Tennenbaum, and my brother as Eli Cash. Anyway, the 'Baumer is secretly in love with his adopted sister. This is of course a taboo subject, but it is a good representation of all "forbidden" love that drives a man insane from the inside out. The pressure that he feels as his heart is consumed with love, and the utter lack of ability to express it leads him to attempt suicide. The suicide attempt is such a powerful scene that a lot of times I have to skip over it, especially in those times when I am in a questionable mood.
5)movie: American History X. I know what you are thinking; this isn't a movie with a lot of love in it. But there is a loving relationship between the lead character and his little brother. When the lead character's eyes are opened, and he realizes that racism and hate are not acceptable, he tries to also save his brother. It is amazing how much we are responsible for in the characteristics of our friends and family. I pretty much raised my brother, and I often feel very guilty that he isn't on the most solid path. I don't beat myself up too much about it, because he is an adult, and can make his own decisions... but this movie always strikes a nerve with me concerning the love of a big brother for his younger brother. Same as the feelings that come up when I watch A River Runs Through It, and Legends of the Fall.
6) movie: Solaris. A man loses the woman he loves, and through a cosmic coincidence, she is reincarnated (sort of). But it isn't really her. Her soul is gone; she is just a reflection of the mortal woman he fell in love with. The man must wrestle with the conflict of what to do with the doppleganger. Does he allow it to exist, and deal with he loss by living with the reflection (therefore, living in denial)? Or does he face the truth of the tragedy, and live without the woman who completed his soul? A fantastic movie that was largely overlooked (actually, it is a remake, but I do feel that the George Clooney version is better). Sometimes we find ourselves consumed by a love that simply cannot (or should not) be. The hardest thing to do is accept that you missed out.
7)movie: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Another epic movie, centered around the theme of forbidden love. And just when the couple is about to go public, and give in to love, WHAM, tragedy strikes. The most powerful moment is when Michelle Yeoh's character pins the young woman responsible for her lover's death... and lets her live. She challenges the young woman to follow her heart, and not live a life of regret from not loving. The agony of her loss, and her desire for vengeance were held in check by her understanding that life is too short to ignore love. In a fitting conclusion, the young woman (I should mention that the young woman is the gorgeous Zhang Ziyi) meets up with her true love, then promptly commits suicide. She recognizes the power of true love, and she cannot live with herself in the arms of her man when she has prohibited a similar love from being expressed in others. A fantastic and powerful love story, if not tragic. Plus there is tons of wuxia action! (wuxia is fantasy swordplay, not something perverted...)
That should do it for now. I am finding it hard, as mentioned, to separate the tender scenes from closely guarded emotions. Love always finds a way to be difficult, doesn't it? Since I opened with Ween, I will close with Ween, "Sometimes the ones you hold so close can make you cry, but it's a pain in the ass to let 'em go." (for those of you who don't know, Ween is a smart-aleky pseudo-punk/true-alternative band)
So, everyone, have a great weekend. For my friends at Creighton, have a great fall break. Since you have all of that free time, maybe you should look into one of the movies or books that I have obsessed over... :)
See ya! Oh, and love ya!
The title of the blog comes from a song (Cold Blows the Wind by Ween), and it is related to the tragic love stories of the Far East. It particularly reminds me of a story I have fallen completely in love with... It is the first "dream" in Soseki Natsume's Ten Nights of Dreams. It is about a man who expresses his love to a woman on her death bed, and she asks him to wait for her to return to him. So he waits, by her grave side... A fantastic love story. I am working on translating the rest of the book, by the way.
I was going to blog about all of my favorite tender moments in literature and movies, but I am not sure how it would come off. I mean, there are only so many adjectives I know to explain what my heart feels (for more on the heart, peek over at Paul's Ponderings; use the link below my poll). A lot of the movie and prose moments that tug at my heartstrings have to do with situations in my own life; people I love (secretly or publicly), people I have had a hard time letting know how I feel, people who have let me down, and so on. So, to speak of too many of these things would really open myself up for a lot of examination... not something I wanted to do when I first came up with this topic.
I am also aware that I can be overly affected by matters of the heart. This is, as I have mentioned in past posts, an off-shoot of events in my life that left me broken, and reassembled me in a much more fragile version of myself. For instance, one of my favorite past times is playing video games, primarily RPGs. In the game Final Fantasy 7, there is a character named Aeris who you really start to love. In an unprecedented plot element, she is murdered before your eyes. So, not only do you see her unexpected demise, you watch as the other characters lay her to rest, and try to come to grips with her absence. I never did finish the game, because this depressed me so much. I mean HONEST depression.
So, I always use a little care in these sorts of discussions... because I know I have the ability to over-react to fiction. But, here is a short (edited) list of beautiful "love" moments from my favorite fictional works;
1) movie: Patton. General Patton stumbles upon a battlefield. The men fought through the night. Ammo and fuel ran out, so the battle turned hand to hand. One soldier mustered the strength to stay alive long enough to give report to the general, who was too late to act as reinforcement. The soldier dies as the general watches. Then General Patton leans over and kisses the man on the forehead. This is how all military leaders should behave; he realized that the man was valiant, and he honored his soul by mourning his loss. All too often we get the message that soldiers are just pawns. Of course, Primetime did a story last night that the US gov't is trying to make a Purple Heart winner, who miraculously survived a mortar attack but is now disabled, pay back his enlistment bonus. Anyway, the juxtaposition of bloody war, a godlike general, and the tender kiss on the forehead makes for a powerful scene.
2)book: The English Patient. I don't want to give away too much of this plot, especially if all you have ever known of this great story is the movie... the whole book is an exercise in challenging the reader to define what love is, how powerful of a force it is, and then dares you to make a moral judgment on the actions of others. The "return to the cave" part of the book is enough to kill a person emotionally.
3)book: The Scarlet Pimpernel. A classic. In it, a man absolutely worships his wife, but he acts like a fop to cover the fact that he is a French Revolution version of Batman. There is a scene where she storms away from him (because he is acting so ridiculous; in character), and once she leaves, he stoops to kiss the place where she stood. It was killing him that he couldn't just be passionate to the woman who held his heart.
4)movie: The Royal Tennenbaums. Here is an intimate Carl fact that I will share... this movie absolutely levels me every time I see it. I see myself as an analog of the broken Richie Tennenbaum, and my brother as Eli Cash. Anyway, the 'Baumer is secretly in love with his adopted sister. This is of course a taboo subject, but it is a good representation of all "forbidden" love that drives a man insane from the inside out. The pressure that he feels as his heart is consumed with love, and the utter lack of ability to express it leads him to attempt suicide. The suicide attempt is such a powerful scene that a lot of times I have to skip over it, especially in those times when I am in a questionable mood.
5)movie: American History X. I know what you are thinking; this isn't a movie with a lot of love in it. But there is a loving relationship between the lead character and his little brother. When the lead character's eyes are opened, and he realizes that racism and hate are not acceptable, he tries to also save his brother. It is amazing how much we are responsible for in the characteristics of our friends and family. I pretty much raised my brother, and I often feel very guilty that he isn't on the most solid path. I don't beat myself up too much about it, because he is an adult, and can make his own decisions... but this movie always strikes a nerve with me concerning the love of a big brother for his younger brother. Same as the feelings that come up when I watch A River Runs Through It, and Legends of the Fall.
6) movie: Solaris. A man loses the woman he loves, and through a cosmic coincidence, she is reincarnated (sort of). But it isn't really her. Her soul is gone; she is just a reflection of the mortal woman he fell in love with. The man must wrestle with the conflict of what to do with the doppleganger. Does he allow it to exist, and deal with he loss by living with the reflection (therefore, living in denial)? Or does he face the truth of the tragedy, and live without the woman who completed his soul? A fantastic movie that was largely overlooked (actually, it is a remake, but I do feel that the George Clooney version is better). Sometimes we find ourselves consumed by a love that simply cannot (or should not) be. The hardest thing to do is accept that you missed out.
7)movie: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Another epic movie, centered around the theme of forbidden love. And just when the couple is about to go public, and give in to love, WHAM, tragedy strikes. The most powerful moment is when Michelle Yeoh's character pins the young woman responsible for her lover's death... and lets her live. She challenges the young woman to follow her heart, and not live a life of regret from not loving. The agony of her loss, and her desire for vengeance were held in check by her understanding that life is too short to ignore love. In a fitting conclusion, the young woman (I should mention that the young woman is the gorgeous Zhang Ziyi) meets up with her true love, then promptly commits suicide. She recognizes the power of true love, and she cannot live with herself in the arms of her man when she has prohibited a similar love from being expressed in others. A fantastic and powerful love story, if not tragic. Plus there is tons of wuxia action! (wuxia is fantasy swordplay, not something perverted...)
That should do it for now. I am finding it hard, as mentioned, to separate the tender scenes from closely guarded emotions. Love always finds a way to be difficult, doesn't it? Since I opened with Ween, I will close with Ween, "Sometimes the ones you hold so close can make you cry, but it's a pain in the ass to let 'em go." (for those of you who don't know, Ween is a smart-aleky pseudo-punk/true-alternative band)
So, everyone, have a great weekend. For my friends at Creighton, have a great fall break. Since you have all of that free time, maybe you should look into one of the movies or books that I have obsessed over... :)
See ya! Oh, and love ya!
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Some neurotransmitters that are released do not bind to receptors in the brain and are taken up by the nerves that produced them.
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Lexapro prevents the reuptake of one neurotransmitter, serotonin, by nerves, an action which results in more serotonin in the brain to attach to receptors.
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Other drugs that I took made me feel like I was hung over and others made me feel depressed valium didn’t make me feel like that just mild effects nothing much to complain about.
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I took the valium for a torn muscle in my leg, it was brutal! Sleeping was almost impossible because of the pain but the valiium numbed it enough so that I could sleep.
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Be sure to take it in small dose and don’t take too much and it will be ok for you.