Sunday, October 24, 2004
Reelin' In The Years (or, "Wanna Razzle?")
First off... I want to bow to the standards and practices of blogging (which are slowly becoming apparent to me as I surf random blogs)...
Currently in my CD player:
1) De La Soul "The Grind Date" ("...back on the map")
2) Mindless Self Indulgence "Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy"
3) Sade "The Best of..."
4) Steely Dan "Citizen Steely Dan" (ALWAYS in my player)
5) FLCL soundtrack (The Pillows are such a fun band!)
6) Marilyn Manson "Lest We Forget"
DVD player be playin':
1) Night of the Living Dead (an all-time October staple)
2) Hero (Zhang Ziyi is so hot)
3) Trigun (anime series. Almost done with it. Pretty cool stuff!)
4) .Hack//Legend of the Twilight (last volume came out... ended sort of lame...)
Current Fetishes:
1) Drinking non-diet pop (I let myself go this last week)
2) CLAMP's latest manga xxx-Holic
3) hoodies (I need to buy some new ones)
4) playing .Hack//Mutation on my PS2 and old-school games on my MAME emulator
5) waiting for November - The 2nd Season of Kids in the Hall, and Volume 3 of Aqua Teen Hunger Force are coming out!
Okay, got that out of the way.
I fear going back to school tomorrow. I have had a week off, and I have got nothing accomplished. I have totally forgotten where we are in classes, and what I need to be focusing on. I know that I have two tests this week, but I haven't studied well for them. :( What a waste of the week. It started out so strong, then sputtered out Tuesday night. From Wed. to now, I have been at the whim of others, and it sort of sucks. I didn't get to talk to any of my friends at all, except Christina and Yuri. *SIGH* If I didn't work ALL WEEKEND, I wouldn't have got to talk to Ade and Sarah at all this week. I have went about 10 days without a word from Phuong, and I have only touched base with Pat, Scott, and Mark. I haven't spoken with my classmates at all this week.
Anyway, I have a significant month coming up. After Halloween (next Sunday already!), I will have a month to end all months. On top of the greatest holiday ever, Thanksgiving, a bunch of tests and assignments, and the US Presidential election, I will also be celebrating my 30th birthday.
Unlike other people I know, I am not bummed out about this at all. It is going to be a nice way-point for me; a signifier that I am entering a new phase of my life. Getting older has been fun for me. All of the things that usually come with aging that cause people to worry are beyond me.
Exhibit A
1) Its not like I was ever handsome, or irresistible to women. So I don't have to work about time taking its toll on my looks. Besides, I am sailing into "30" without ever having a grey hair! Take that!
2) Its not like I was ever in peak physical condition. I was never going to be competitive at any sport, so as my body slows and weakens, I don't have to regret my loss of ability.
I have also made it to thirty without making too many horrible mistakes. I haven't been involved in any affairs, I haven't been in jail, I haven't found myself in credit trouble (well, I did, but I got out of it), I haven't any children (grin), I got out of the ministry before it got ugly (or uglier), I came to grips with WHY ministry and I are like oil and water, and I haven't embarrassed myself by ending up in the papers for misdemeanors or crimes. I didn't do any drugs, barely drank, was practically abstinent, and avoided the whole tattoo and piercing crazes. I didn't gravitate to too many popular ideologies, and I didn't stand up for trendy causes. I loved very little, but made sure the love I had was real (not that I have the whole love thing figured out yet...). No diseases, injuries, complexes, or ailments. If it wasn't for "hallway wrestling" at NCC, stupid dog that bit my butt when I was jogging, I wouldn't have any new scars either. Both my parents are still alive, and I have become a proud uncle.
Furthermore, things that age brings to humans are things I have learned to enjoy.
Exhibit B
1) Age makes the time shorter between when you say something and when you regret it. I am constantly feeling a bit bad about what has come out of my mouth, but as I get older, I sometimes even catch it before it comes out.
2) Age makes you comfortable with who you are. I know my weaknesses and I don't get defensive when they are pointed out. So when someone feels the need to say "Man, you have a loud mouth." I just smile and shut up.
3) Age makes you wiser. I understand who I am and what I want more now than ever before in my life. I don't feel as much pressure to appeal to others; I live as I see that I need to. I enjoy my few friendships more than I ever have, and I love a couple people more strongly than I ever have. I am quicker to forgive, slower to anger, and I feel as if I see a lot of simple beauty that I used to overlook.
I am very excited for my future, and I cannot wait to finally step into the adult world. Just 3 more years of school! I may not be fully grown up, but I happy with me. I couldn't always say that, even earlier this year. Somewhere along the line, with a little help from my friends, I crossed a line; and now my life looks promising and fulfilling.
I know who I am. I understand my weaknesses. I know what I truly believe in, and why (and what I am unsure of, and I am comfortable saying "I don't know"). I understand my feelings and how I am seen by others, and most of all, I am comfortable as me. And if YOU would like to be comfortable with me, just call... just kidding.
So here's to me. Happy early 30th birthday me.
See ya!
Currently in my CD player:
1) De La Soul "The Grind Date" ("...back on the map")
2) Mindless Self Indulgence "Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy"
3) Sade "The Best of..."
4) Steely Dan "Citizen Steely Dan" (ALWAYS in my player)
5) FLCL soundtrack (The Pillows are such a fun band!)
6) Marilyn Manson "Lest We Forget"
DVD player be playin':
1) Night of the Living Dead (an all-time October staple)
2) Hero (Zhang Ziyi is so hot)
3) Trigun (anime series. Almost done with it. Pretty cool stuff!)
4) .Hack//Legend of the Twilight (last volume came out... ended sort of lame...)
Current Fetishes:
1) Drinking non-diet pop (I let myself go this last week)
2) CLAMP's latest manga xxx-Holic
3) hoodies (I need to buy some new ones)
4) playing .Hack//Mutation on my PS2 and old-school games on my MAME emulator
5) waiting for November - The 2nd Season of Kids in the Hall, and Volume 3 of Aqua Teen Hunger Force are coming out!
Okay, got that out of the way.
I fear going back to school tomorrow. I have had a week off, and I have got nothing accomplished. I have totally forgotten where we are in classes, and what I need to be focusing on. I know that I have two tests this week, but I haven't studied well for them. :( What a waste of the week. It started out so strong, then sputtered out Tuesday night. From Wed. to now, I have been at the whim of others, and it sort of sucks. I didn't get to talk to any of my friends at all, except Christina and Yuri. *SIGH* If I didn't work ALL WEEKEND, I wouldn't have got to talk to Ade and Sarah at all this week. I have went about 10 days without a word from Phuong, and I have only touched base with Pat, Scott, and Mark. I haven't spoken with my classmates at all this week.
Anyway, I have a significant month coming up. After Halloween (next Sunday already!), I will have a month to end all months. On top of the greatest holiday ever, Thanksgiving, a bunch of tests and assignments, and the US Presidential election, I will also be celebrating my 30th birthday.
Unlike other people I know, I am not bummed out about this at all. It is going to be a nice way-point for me; a signifier that I am entering a new phase of my life. Getting older has been fun for me. All of the things that usually come with aging that cause people to worry are beyond me.
Exhibit A
1) Its not like I was ever handsome, or irresistible to women. So I don't have to work about time taking its toll on my looks. Besides, I am sailing into "30" without ever having a grey hair! Take that!
2) Its not like I was ever in peak physical condition. I was never going to be competitive at any sport, so as my body slows and weakens, I don't have to regret my loss of ability.
I have also made it to thirty without making too many horrible mistakes. I haven't been involved in any affairs, I haven't been in jail, I haven't found myself in credit trouble (well, I did, but I got out of it), I haven't any children (grin), I got out of the ministry before it got ugly (or uglier), I came to grips with WHY ministry and I are like oil and water, and I haven't embarrassed myself by ending up in the papers for misdemeanors or crimes. I didn't do any drugs, barely drank, was practically abstinent, and avoided the whole tattoo and piercing crazes. I didn't gravitate to too many popular ideologies, and I didn't stand up for trendy causes. I loved very little, but made sure the love I had was real (not that I have the whole love thing figured out yet...). No diseases, injuries, complexes, or ailments. If it wasn't for "hallway wrestling" at NCC, stupid dog that bit my butt when I was jogging, I wouldn't have any new scars either. Both my parents are still alive, and I have become a proud uncle.
Furthermore, things that age brings to humans are things I have learned to enjoy.
Exhibit B
1) Age makes the time shorter between when you say something and when you regret it. I am constantly feeling a bit bad about what has come out of my mouth, but as I get older, I sometimes even catch it before it comes out.
2) Age makes you comfortable with who you are. I know my weaknesses and I don't get defensive when they are pointed out. So when someone feels the need to say "Man, you have a loud mouth." I just smile and shut up.
3) Age makes you wiser. I understand who I am and what I want more now than ever before in my life. I don't feel as much pressure to appeal to others; I live as I see that I need to. I enjoy my few friendships more than I ever have, and I love a couple people more strongly than I ever have. I am quicker to forgive, slower to anger, and I feel as if I see a lot of simple beauty that I used to overlook.
I am very excited for my future, and I cannot wait to finally step into the adult world. Just 3 more years of school! I may not be fully grown up, but I happy with me. I couldn't always say that, even earlier this year. Somewhere along the line, with a little help from my friends, I crossed a line; and now my life looks promising and fulfilling.
I know who I am. I understand my weaknesses. I know what I truly believe in, and why (and what I am unsure of, and I am comfortable saying "I don't know"). I understand my feelings and how I am seen by others, and most of all, I am comfortable as me. And if YOU would like to be comfortable with me, just call... just kidding.
So here's to me. Happy early 30th birthday me.
See ya!