Thursday, May 26, 2005
The Front Range Bandit calls it quits (for now)
Well, vacation is over. 7 nights, 4 beds (trying to break Troy's record), 2 good friends, a brewery, a gondola, a candy factory, 2 gold mines, a lot of miles vertical and horizontal, and several meals later, I am back in Iowa. It was a great vacation, I may talk more about it in detail someday in the future.
One of the things that struck me most of all about the trip was how at home I always feel in Colorado. It is my turf. I have all of these memories tied to seemingly banal areas of town. I remember emotions I felt, fun I had, places I went to pout, and so on. To me, the northern Denver area is home.
Returning to Iowa is hard, but in many ways, it is home too. I am a product of southwest Iowa and all that such a life entails. I started here, moved to Sterling, and returned to CB before I even started school. I know a little about hunting and fishing and farming, I have a sort of backwards country life philosophy deep in my heart, and a healthy appreciation for food and friends. There is a politeness to strangers that Iowa teaches, and growing up here gives you permission to use bad grammar, listen to the occasional hillbilly song, and to be overweight without public shame.
Iowa, and more specifically CB, always remind me that I haven't done anything with my life yet. I have accomplished nothing yet. CB is where you come back to when you strike out. It is the dugout for lovable losers, has-beens, and wanna-bes. We couldn't get out. But by that same coin, there is a far less judgmental air here. In Colorado, I was constantly self-conscious of my weight, clothes, income, and so on. Accomplishments mean a lot less in my Colorado, because there are always hundreds of people who have done better than you in less time and with more flair. Colorado is a place where you can really feel isolated. In Iowa, the opposite problem occurs... you have a lot of compatriots, but none of them push you to better yourself.
But I want more for me than Iowa. I love Iowa, but I love Colorado more. My brother and I often talk about this, and I think my friend Alicia even said it once herself... that we don't really enjoy being from CB, but we get very mad when someone else talks bad about it. I could live here my whole life and it wouldn't crush me, but I will always be daydreaming of Colorado and the beautiful mountains.
Or is it Japan that I want to move to...?
Horns up.
One of the things that struck me most of all about the trip was how at home I always feel in Colorado. It is my turf. I have all of these memories tied to seemingly banal areas of town. I remember emotions I felt, fun I had, places I went to pout, and so on. To me, the northern Denver area is home.
Returning to Iowa is hard, but in many ways, it is home too. I am a product of southwest Iowa and all that such a life entails. I started here, moved to Sterling, and returned to CB before I even started school. I know a little about hunting and fishing and farming, I have a sort of backwards country life philosophy deep in my heart, and a healthy appreciation for food and friends. There is a politeness to strangers that Iowa teaches, and growing up here gives you permission to use bad grammar, listen to the occasional hillbilly song, and to be overweight without public shame.
Iowa, and more specifically CB, always remind me that I haven't done anything with my life yet. I have accomplished nothing yet. CB is where you come back to when you strike out. It is the dugout for lovable losers, has-beens, and wanna-bes. We couldn't get out. But by that same coin, there is a far less judgmental air here. In Colorado, I was constantly self-conscious of my weight, clothes, income, and so on. Accomplishments mean a lot less in my Colorado, because there are always hundreds of people who have done better than you in less time and with more flair. Colorado is a place where you can really feel isolated. In Iowa, the opposite problem occurs... you have a lot of compatriots, but none of them push you to better yourself.
But I want more for me than Iowa. I love Iowa, but I love Colorado more. My brother and I often talk about this, and I think my friend Alicia even said it once herself... that we don't really enjoy being from CB, but we get very mad when someone else talks bad about it. I could live here my whole life and it wouldn't crush me, but I will always be daydreaming of Colorado and the beautiful mountains.
Or is it Japan that I want to move to...?
Horns up.
Comments:
Post a Comment